Choose your words wisely

I have discovered again why it is best not to judge.  You see, we never know exactly what is going on when someone says or does something.  Even if we happen to know the situation we do not know the thoughts, intents, or heart of anyone.  I made a mistake today, I said something without knowing all of the information and I quickly regretted it.  But as easily as words can be deleted off of Facebook, they cannot be taken back.    I am upset with myself for what I said because I realized after getting more information that what I said would come come across as hurtful, not what I had intended.  So I tried to make it better.  I apologized and explained myself.  Then to make matters even worse some one said something to me that was hurtful because she did not have all of the information concerning what I had said.  Now not only do I feel bad for what I said, but for what she said to me. 

None of this will make any sense to you I am sure, I just needed to get my feeling out before I burst.  I am a very feeling person and so I deeply feel my mistakes, but to have them rubbed in my face hurts me so much more.  I must learn to choose my words wisely.  I came across a quote recently that I love. "Be careful of words and hearts, because once spoken words cannot be taken back, and once broken hearts are hard to mend."  I didn't get it exactly right, but you get the jist.  Be careful what you say is what I really get out of it.  My words cannot be taken back and they can hurt someone.  Next time I feel like saying that is not pure love, I will think harder about it and if it could hurt someone.

Another adventure

"It's raining pee." Glen says as I walk in.  He has somehow managed to pee all over the floor, his pants, even in his hair, and hardly any made it in the toilet even though that is where he was sitting.  Only a boy.  This would explain the other two accidents this morning.  I couldn't figure it out because he was sitting on the toilet at the time.  Now I understand.
Here is yet another example of why a great sense of humor is necessary as a parent.  I am already laughing about this.  :)

Struggles

 I am really struggling right now.  Tears, sadness, all that.  You see, we told Glen that he could not go to school unless he was potty trained and now that he is potty trained he really wants to go.  The idea of school really got him motivated.  I am now regretting my choice of rewards.  It's not that I do not want him ot go to school, I think that pre-school would be a great thing for him.  He loves learning, he would make friends, he is so smart and has such a strong desire to go how can I not let him?  But then I think of him leaving me, I think of missing him when he is gone.  I won't be his hero and his best friend any more.  I wont be his world. How *can* I let him go?  How can I let go?  This is so pathetic, I know.  He would only be gone for like half a day 2-3 days a week, but it's hard just thinking about it.  I have thought of home schooling, but I feel that it is best for Glen to go to school where he can be with peers, learn from new people, make new friends, and have different choices.  Knowing it is right for him and best for him, and how much he will love it does not make the thought of separation any easier.  He is my buddy, my joker, my reader, my angel.  I think I'm going to cry again.Well, chin up, mommy, it's not the end of the world.  He is going to go out there and learn so much, then he will come home and tell me all about it and we will learn together and take new journeys.  This is all part of growing up and we will both love it once we get used to it.  He will still be my buddy, my reader and my angel, even if his friend does know more then boring old mom.  *sniff* Really?  If I am crying now just thinking about it, what a mess I will be his first day of school.

Inseparable

These two boys are inseparable.  They do everything together. They do not sleep well unless they are in the same room, they are always playing together--as in together, not next to each other--they even sit in time out together.  This picture has a story that I love.  Benjamin had just been sent to time out for hitting.  He had hit Glen really hard and Glen was crying and very upset.  I sent Benjamin to time out and he started crying.  Well then Glen gets mad at me for making Benjamin cry and went to sit next to him to comfort him and tell him it was ok.  They really have such a strong bond.
Today was Glen's first day in primary.  He is old enough for the sun beams class (Sunday school for 3-4 year olds) and his group is slowly transitioning out of nursery (Sunday school/play time for 1 1/2- 3 year olds)  Glen did not want to go in, he, like all kids, does not like change.  He started having fun singing the songs and playing the bells with the other kids and he liked seeing some of his older friends in Primary. He was having fun and then he slumped down in his chair and looked really sad.  He leaned over to me and whispered "I want my brother."  Nearly broke my heart.  I think the hardest part of going to primary is that he will not be in the same class as his brother any more.  Growing up can be so tough, but I know he will really enjoy primary once he gets used to it.

Another Potty Training Adventure

                                     

The adventures of potty training.
So I had a neighbor over--your thinking "Oh no!" all ready aren't you?  :)  So I had a neighbor over helping me try to figure out my sewing machine.  We were in my bedroom and the kids were playing well in the living room.  Then Glen ran past my room to the bathroom saying he needed to go.  I turned on the light and went back to my room to help figure out what was wrong with my machine.  I heard some noises and told Glen not to play "I'm not he yells back."  I thought nothing of it.
Later I have to go to the bathroom myself, like I have to go now, and so I run in and the toilet is totally full of toilet paper.  He had put the whole roll--the whole new roll-- into the toilet and if I tried to flush it would cause problems.  But I really had to go so I ran upstairs yelling on my way for the neighbor kid to watch my boys.  Then I had to come back down and scoop it out.  Fun that.  Go ahead and laugh now, I was.  I actually thought it was pretty funny.  See, having a good sense of humor really does help my kids to live longer lives. :D

What was I going to say?

My brain has been running on empty today.  I'm fuzzy and tired and it's been all I can do just to eat, breath, or move.  Benjamin was up puking until 1:30 so I got to bed around 2, then they woke up half an hour early--of course.  I did accomplish a few things, and then my brain shut down.  I called my husband to tell him I was on my way home and when he answered I said "Umm...what was I calling about?"  Then his mom reminded me I was done at her house and on my way home.  Ever had a day like that?  A day where everything you do takes tremendous effort?  Like deciding what to make for dinner, or brushing your kids teeth.  Even right now I have to sit here for a minute before the next sentence come and I am think enough to type.
It was the strangest thing with Benjamin.  He was fine when I put him to bed, he woke up throwing up and that continued for another 3 hours and then he said he was ready to go back to bed and he was fine when he woke up.  Maybe he got some milk and I didn't notice, or maybe...maybe I have no idea.  I could sure use a vacation right about now.
Thanks for reading, here is a cute story to make it worth your while.  :)  One day after dinner Glen came in holding his stomach and told me "Mom, I ate to much and my brain hurts."
"Where is your brain sweety?"
"Right here" and he points to his stomach.  Then I asked Benjamin where his brain was and he pointed to his chin.  And here I thought your brain was in your head.  :D

     

This is warm?

 We have been taking advantage of the last warm days of the year...by warm I mean 40-50.  We have been getting in the last scooter and bike rides we will get before the snow covers the ground and it gets to cold to do more then a quick walk around the block or we have to stay inside.  Now that Glen has learned to ride his little bike it's all he wants to do, it makes it even more hard for him to be cooped up inside because of the cold.  Benjamin as you can see is learning to ride a scooter.
These two boys are so full of energy that being stuck inside is really hard for them.  They play outside even when it is cold and snowy, but it's just not the same.  They have to wear coats (which they hate) it still gets cold, and jumping on a trampoline covered in snow isn't as much fun.  They would spend all day outside when it was warm.  they spent so much time in the pool, sprinklers, on the trampoline, and going on walks that it was hard to drag them in for anything short of more Popsicles.   We are mourning the loss of our dear friend summer.  At least the local mall has a free play area and with my gym membership they get to go to the daycare while I work out.  They get new toys and friends and I get a work out and a break.  It's perfect.
I have noticed that my blog has changed.  It used to be all about my kids with an occasional mommy or daddy thrown in, and every now and then a spiritual thought.  I have shared more and more about my journey as a mother and it has slowly turned into a blog less about my kids and more about me as I undertake this adventure called motherhood.  In a way I cannot help it, being a mother has changed me.  I am no longer the person I used to be.  As my children have grown and learned I have grown and learned things right along side them.  We are learning together in this journey, this wonderful adventure.  So stick with me and I will try to put in more cute stories and fun pictures, but stick around for the learning and growing part too, because if you are a mom you can understand that, can't you?

Christmas

I spent the last few weeks pretty Scroogy--let me back up.  Christmas items showed up in stores in July, can you believe it?  stockings and decorations were at the dollar store and it drove me crazy.  Then later I stopped to get an advent calendar and could not find one with a nativity on it, they were all toys and presents and Santa.  Christmas has become Santamas.  I was so frustrated by all of the materialism and marketing that Christmas has become that I didn't even want to put up the Christmas tree.  I did though, after Thanksgiving weekend I was ready and so we set it up.  I am so glad I did because among our Christmas decorations there are many reminders of what Christmas is all about--Christ.  We hang pictured of Christ to remind us of him during December, we have many different nativity sets, and Luke chapter 2 is read more in the month of December then all the rest of the year, I think we read it about every day.  The story of Christ's birth.

Tonight I remembered about the Christmas devotional about half way through, but I hurried to turn it on.  I am so glad I did. You can watch it here. http://lds.org/broadcasts/languages/christmas-devotional/2011/12?lang=eng President Monson spoke last and his talk really spoke to my heart.  He said "Christmas is what you make it."  He then went on to say that we can make Christmas traditions that help us make Christmas about Christ.  I realized that I did not have to feel so grumpy about what stores have done to Christmas because I can make Christmas about Christ in our home.  He is the center of our home all year around, but at Christmas I am happy to have a full month where I get to focus just a little extra on Him.  

I suppose it is hard for me to see the world becoming so far away from Christ.  So many seem to have forgotten that He is the only true and lasting source of joy.    I know that He is my savoir and that he came to Earth as a baby.  He came to die for me, and I know that He lives.  What glorious news for all of us!  He lives!

This Day

Today is the day, I have been thinking about today for most of the month.  Why today you ask?  Well today is the last day of the month.  Let me back up.  At the beginning of the month I made a goal to past every day about something that I am grateful for.  Other then that one day I forgot I have made good on my goal.  But I had no idea how hard it would be.  Not that there are not plenty of things to be grateful for, I have just been finding it hard to find post worthy subjects.  Every day things happen that I am grateful for, but some of then you don't want to hear about.  This morning at 4 am Glen woke my up to go to the bathroom and stayed dry all night.  I am grateful that he is doing so well, but do you all really want to hear about it in detail?  You see my dilemma.  SO today, silly as it may be, I am grateful that I have reached me goal and it is over.  I have been forced to think in depth about the blessing I have and for that I am also grateful, but I cannot remember the last time I was so happy to see the last day of November.
Here is another list of things I am grateful for.
Our pet grasshoppers, (Macky and Tacky Hopper) they are getting on my nerves and honestly I kind of hope they die soon, but they are hanging in there and my kids love them.  I love them because my kids do.
I am grateful that my boys are such good friends, I am grateful Glen loves horses so much and Benjamin loves trains and trucks.  Though Glen does seem to be succeeding in converting him to the ways of cowboys.
I am grateful for my friends idea to rotate toys so that when my kids get sick of the ones I have out then I can trade and it's like having new toys again.
I am grateful for they toy Nativity set my husbands friend gave us.  It's  Precious Moments set and my kids love it as much as I do.  It helps me teach them the story of Jesus' birth.
I am grateful for the scriptures, I should have posted about this one.  Within the scriptures I find so much peace and so many answers.  I love the scriptures.  I love the Bible and the Book of Mormon.  I know that the Bible testifies of Christ and that the Book of Mormon is another Testament of Christ.
I am grateful for a camera to catch pictures and videos of my kids on.
I am grateful for my Testimony.
I am grateful for trees, mountains, flowers, parks, water, sprinklers, grass...the list is endless, really it is.
My life is so full of blessings.  In the scriptures it talks about the blessing of Heaven being poured out so that there is not even room to receive them.  I feel like this often.  I feel like my life is so full of blessing and they just keep coming.  I thank the Lord every day for blessing me so much.

Magic and wonder

Today I am grateful for the magic and wonder that children see everywhere.  Today I set up the Christmas tree.  The boys had been asking for days, but I just didn't know where to put it.  If it weren't for them we may not have set one up...but then again if it weren't for them I would have tons more room. :)  Anyway...every now and then I can see the world through their eyes.  I saw it today as I set up the tree with all the lights, pretty ornaments, my other Christmas decorations and we talked about baby Jesus and read Luke chapter 2.  There came into their eyes a light that spoke to me.  It spoke of wonder and magic.  So often as adults life becomes so mundane.  Through the eyes of my children I have again found the magic and wonder in Christmas lights, the story of baby Jesus, leaves changing color, clouds, hugs and kisses, wrapping paper and boxes, bugs, slides and trampolines.  To a child discovering the world for the first time everything holds magic and wonder.  I am grateful for the opportunity that I have as a mother to re-discover the world through my children's eyes.

Home

I am grateful for a home.  Our house is warm, it is pretty big for the amount of rent we pay, it's just what we need.  I know that I will never be asked to leave, or forced out.  I can count on it always being warm.  I know that it will keep us dry in the rain, warm in the winter, cool in the summer and always be a place we can return to.  I am also grateful for the idea of home.  I know that when I am upset something inside me wants nothing more then to go home. Home is comfort, love, safety, and family.  Home really is where your heart is and my heart(s) are here.

Forgivness

Today I am grateful for forgiveness, and the Atonement.  Today in Relief Society we talked about the Atonement.   I am also grateful for my knowledge of the Atonement.  I know that Christ atoned for my sins, but do you know what is really special?  I know that He also suffered and atoned for so much more.  He suffered for my heartaches, me fears, my confusion, loneliness, worries, and tears.  Jesus Christ did not just atone for our sins, I know that he atoned for all.  Because He suffered for all he can also comfort all, heal all, guide all, and He knows so intimately how we feel.  He loves us so much and He will give comfort, strength, guidance, and forgiveness.

Sisters

I am thankful for sisters.  Growing up I had one sister, then I got married and inherited five more sisters, and then my mom got married and now I have three more.  K, give me a sec to do the math 1 2 3...I have 9 sisters! (I don't believe in in laws or 1/2 or anything like that, we are family.)  Then I have the girls that I have adopted as sisters, and every one is Relief Society.  I love sisters. 

Sisters give you something you just can't get from a brother, I have a lot of brothers too, so I know.  If I want to rough and tumble, laugh at stupid stuff, or start a hitting contest I go to my brothers.  But with sisters you get good times, laughs, companionship, comfort, shopping excursions, sympathy, and so much more.  I really look forward to my sister coming up from the southern part of the state where she lives,  one sister lives in another state, I have sisters all over and I love to get together with them.

So to all of my sisters, wherever you are, I love you and I am so grateful for you.  You have helped me to become who I am and I love you all so much!

The priesthood

I am grateful for the Priesthood.  The priesthood is the power of God on Earth.  In old testament times when Christ walked the Earth and called apostles He ordained with with power and authority.  This same power and authority that existed in the early Church of Christ has been restored to the Earth in these latter days.  Through the power and Authority of God men ordained to the priesthood can bless and heal the sick, cast out devils, give blessings, and speak by the power and authority of God.  I do not know all of the powers and key that men can hold, but I  know that the priesthood has blessed my life immensely.  I am so grateful to see this power in my life.  I know that I am so blessed to have the priesthood in my home and to share in the blessing that my husband does.

Blessings

Since today is Thanksgiving I thought I would share some of the things I am grateful for, but have not yet posted about.
I am grateful to have a car to do the shopping, take the boys places, and to get us all around.  And our other car too so John can get to work.  :)
I am grateful for my kitchen aid that helped me make over 160 rolls for this weekend.  I would have given up before I finished without it.
I am grateful for clothes to wear, food to eat, family, friends, a new dad and a new brother in law, oh and a new nephew!
I am grateful for our warm home and so much space for so little rent.  I am grateful for the friends who let us rent here.
I am grateful for opportunities to serve and help others. I am grateful for the opportunity to be on the receiving end of service.
I am grateful for cool shoes I can just slip on, since I hate tying shoes.
I am grateful for the internet and my blog.  I am grateful for all the people that read my blog.  Hi!
I am grateful for my silly, quirky, energetic, happy personality.  I am grateful for my silly, book worm, rough and tumble Glen, train crazy, sensitive, cuddly Benjamin, and my supportive, saintly patient, loving husband.
Really the list is endless.  One of the things that I learned at Time Out for Women was this.  "It's hard to make ourselves feel happy, especially when we are not.  but it is easy to feel grateful."  Maybe that is why we are told to count our blessings.  When I am feeling down in the dumps the fastest way to feel better is to think of all the things I am grateful for.  Then I don't feel so bad, I feel truly blessed.  Take a minute today to count your blessings.  You may be surprised how blessed you are.
I could go on about the things I am grateful for, but now it's your turn, go ahead, try it.

Potty Training

Ask me 6 months ago how I feel about potty training and I may have cried, screamed, or taken on a look of sheer terror. But today I can say that i am thankful for potty training.  i have tried so many times with Glen I was ready to give up until he was 16, but after praying about it, again, I felt like I should give it another go.  It was time.  After the first night I was ready to give up again, he just wasn't having any of it.  But I knew the time was right and I muddled through.  Monday morning he pooped twice on his own and after my huge celebratory dance he decided he was potty trained.  Since then it has been pretty easy.  My Glen is so stubborn some times he makes his daddy look easy going.  These Hansens have some serious stubbornness going on.  But Now that Glen has decided he is potty trained he is doing it just fine.  He has know how for almost a year, but he just wouldn't.  You cannot force a child in anything, control is an illusion.  I taught him what to do and how to do it and then needed to wait for him to decide that he was ready.
Today, after a nearly perfect day with him in underwear I can say that I am grateful for potty training.  I do not miss changing his diapers in the LEAST!  Now if only I can get Benjamin to be potty trained too I can kiss diapers good bye for a while.  Unfortunately I do not think Benjamin is ready at all yet so i an stuck with diapers, but Glen, oh Glen.  He may not have it perfect yet, but by his attitude i know he is not going to dig in his heels and quite like he has done every other time, and this mean that with work we will succeed and his in not going back to diapers.  Celebrate!  Thank goodness for potty training.

Insperation

This picture really has nothing to do with inspiration, unless you count the fact that my two sisters in law and I all dressed our boys up in jean overalls without any prior communication, but it's a cute picture.
Last night-this morning actually- Glen came in and asked to cuddle with me.  usually when he wakes up in the middle of the night he knocks on our door until I come to take him back to bed.  But this time he snuck in, put his hand on my shoulder and whispered that he wanted to cuddle.  How could I refuse? It means I woke up with a really sore neck, but it was worth it.  At some point I woke up to take him back to bed but the thought entered my head that he needed to stay and cuddle with me this time.  I have no idea why he needed me, but i am grateful for the inspiration to let him stay.
Many times in my life I have been inspired to do one thing or another.  Take a meal to someone who I later found out had a really sick child and single working mom, take Glen to the Dr because he had an ear infection, stay up late to wait for John to get home so he could tell me about his hard day, go visit a friend or call my sister.  I know that I have also been the recipient of other's inspiration.  One that really stands out to me is right after I met John.  I had just gotten my mission call and I did not think it would come.  John and I were already planning on getting married and I was so confused and it really hit me hard.  Right after I hung up with John, who i had been talking to at the time, my sister called to see what was wrong.  She lived in Cedar and called me less then a minute after I started feeling distressed.  She really helped me and I know she was inspired to call me.
I believe in continuing revelation and personal revelation.  That means God speaks to me.  I can ask him in prayer and receive answers.  I can also receive warnings, be told something is wrong, know that someone needs help, and be inspired in all things.  Call it a mother's intuition, call it a gut feeling, a hunch, or whatever you will.  I know that God speaks to us, communicates with our minds and hearts and that His Holy Spirit will giude us.  I am very grateful for this knowledge.

Books

I am grateful for books.  I love books.  I think my soul is written in words.  Some people have a soul made of music, or art, or maybe car engines?  But my soul is written in words.  I have such a passion for words and books.  A good book does more then tell a story, it conveys emotion, teaches, inspires, makes you think, a good book can transport you to another world.
One of my very favorite books is 3rd Nephi in the book of Mormon.  It tells of the ministry of Christ in the Americas.  I love it because it is a story full of love. When He teaches the people, He prays with them, weeps with them, heals them, and blesses the little children.  They came to Him one by one, that tells me He knew them each by name and loved them.
Another book that I really love is "Little Women" by Luisa My Alcott.  I love this book because it it so real to me.  The characters seem to be real people with real problems and real heart aches.  And yet the book is so full of goodness, the characters want to be good and they work so hard to become so.  I love that the struggle to become good doe not happen over night, it takes time and a lot of hard work.  They make mistakes and they learn.  I love Jo.  If I had to choose a literary character to represent me it would be Jo.  I can relate to her in so many ways.  He love of books and words, her love of "Boyish play" her vanity about her hair, her dislike of dressing up and being formal, her love of boys and desire to open a boys home, and her anger.  Anger was her bosom enemy and it is mine as well.  I love reading of Jo's struggle to bridle her anger and her journey to save boys.
I love to lose myself in a good fantasy like "Fable Haven"  Or laugh at a funny series like "Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians."  I read a book and I become what I read, I laugh with the characters, I cried when Beth and Charlie died, I even cried when Mary died.  I am on the edge of my seat when Seth and Kendra battle demons and dragons.  I get an eerie feeling when Meg and Charles Wallace go through the tesseract to the town where everything is the same.  I learn right along the apostles as I hear the teaching of Jesus.  I get to touch his hands and feet and see the angels ministering to the children in America.  And I am filled with love when I read about Richard learning what the first gift of Christmas is.
Books- words, learning, laughing, crying, thrills, love.  I am very grateful for books.

Daughter of God

Last night I was thinking about the Time Out for Women I went to over the weekend.  It was simply amazing.  One of my favorite things about women in the church is that when you get a group of women together it is always uplifting and inspiring.  There was so much that I learned and I went away feeling the desire to be a better mother, wife, and woman.  It was simply amazing.  I cannot even describe it.
As a mother I do feel a little burned out sometimes, especially near the end of a semester.  I feel frustrated and impatient at times.  I have struggles as a wife.  When we argue or I feel like things are not going as they aught to.  Sometimes I even dislike being a woman.
Yet those times are few and far between compared to the love I have of womanhood and all that is a part of womanhood.  I know that as a woman I have a special role to play.  As a mother, wife and woman my role is divine.
When I was in high school I reached a time in my life when I felt that to progress in my life I needed to know who I am.  I felt such a deep desire and need to know.  For weeks I thought about it, I studied it out in my mind.  I had to know.  I thought of many things that describe me.  My name, love of books and words, I was a student.  But all of the titles I came up with fell short, they were what I was, but not who I was.  I needed to know.  I knew that I would receive an answer if I preyed about it, so I did.  I told my Father that I was really struggling with this question.  I needed to know who I was.  Then a thought entered into my mind with such force, and yet such tender love that I have no words for it.  The words were "You know who you are, you are mine."  My heart swelled and my mind filled with light.  I did know, I knew that I was a daughter of God.  Then I saw an image, of my Father and I felt almost like He was hugging me.
Since that day I have never questioned who I am or what my purpose in life is.  I feel that I have escaped a lot of struggles because hard as it may be to be a mother, wife, and woman, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is right, and good, and it is my role to play.  I know that God loves me, and as my loving Father he will not leave me.  He will lead me, lift me, strengthen me, test me, comfort me, and be there always.
I am a woman, I am a wife, I am a mother, but first and foremost I am a daughter of God and nothing can change or take it away from me ever!  This knowledge has saved me and for it I am eternally grateful.

Priorities

I am grateful for my priorities and knowing what order they are in.  Incidently sleep, not mine, my husbands, comes before blogging hence the skip yesterday.  You I know you all still love me anyway.  And tonight is super lame because i want to talk about Time out For women, but I wan to do it justice.  So just remember some things are more important them others.
My priorities (Some of them)
God
Kids
Husband
Serving Others
Myself.

Angels

Today I am grateful for angels.  Yes, I very much believe in angels.  I would go so far as to say that I know for a fact that angels are real.  I know that God sends angels to protect, guide, comfort, and help us.
I have seen angels in my life, I have felt their influence.  I will not go into it too much because it is very sacred to me, but I do not think I would be here today if it were not for angels.
I know that one of the blessings of attending the temple is that angels will be sent to guide protect my children.  In a big scary world such as we live in I am grateful for that blessing.  I want to know that my children are watched over.  I want to know that I am watched over.
Thank you to my angels, seen and unseen.  Often times heaven works through the people in our lives and they too are angels.

Music

Today I am grateful for music.  I love music.  Music can do so much for my mood, inspire me, make me laugh, make me think, make me want to dance.  I love dancing with my kids to the music that play along with the credits after movies.  It has become somewhat of a tradition.  When  a movie ends my kids hop up and say lets dance.  I sing hymns and primary songs when I am angry, upset, scared, or sad.  I always feel better afterwards.  I just love music.

Laughing

Today I am grateful for a sense of humor and laughter.   John says I am  immature, but I like to think I have a good sense of humor.  :)  To me life is kind of a mix between a game, an adventure, and a joke. Don't get me wrong, I can be serious when it's needed...usually.  :) But I dearly love to laugh.  Life is so full of...life is just full.  There are all sorts of ups and downs, disappointments, frustrations, messes, chaos, and all sorts of stuff.  If I did not spend so much time laughing I would probably spend it crying.  I prefer cheeky to teary.
For me attitude is everything.  Instead of getting upset with Glen for getting into my make up and nail polish I laughed at him, took pictures and had all sorts of fun with it before having him help me clean it up.
Instead of feeling irritated that Benjamin had frosting all over his face, the table, chairs, and even some on the wall (how did * that* happen)  I took pictures of his cute funny faces and we laughed at his "old man beard."
Some people call me silly and tell me to be serious, but why?  What is the point?  Why go through life feeling embarrassed, frustrated, irritated, or sad when you can find something (or someone =D ) to laugh at.  :)  Life is so full of little moments that we can laugh at and I laugh at myself as often as I laugh at other things.  Te other day I made a really blond comment and instead of feeling embarrassed I re told the story 2-3 times and laughed at it. Today someone asked me how I was and I said "Great!"  Then proceeded to trip on the stairs and I laughed and my grace, or lack of it.
So here's the moral guys and gals, if you can't laugh at your self...well, just call me, I'll laugh at you.  :)

New babies

Today I am very grateful for new babies.  I love the hugs and cuddles I get from my sweet boys, but there is just something about a new baby that is so full of sweetness that it just fills me up.  Here is my newest nephew being fawned over by my boys who are almost as baby crazy as I am.  Glen kept talking about how tiny his feet are, and Benjamin wanted to hold him again and again.  I think that even they felt that there is something special about anew baby.
Maybe is is the newness of anew baby, maybe is is that they have come so recently from Heaven and Father's arms. I don't know what it is, but I know I love it immensely.  Oh my goodness, it was so hard to give this sweet thing back to his daddy, who by the way was so patient letting me hold him four times and didn't even look at me funny when I had a hard time giving him back.  And bay did I have a hard time.  I could have sat there all night holding, cuddling, feeling his soft hair, tiny toes and finger, and just loving him.
I am so grateful I had the opportunity to go down to welcome the newest member of our family.  I am grateful to have been able to hold him, to see my kids hold him, to touch him, feel him, and whisper sweet things in his ears, his tiny ears.  I am so grateful for new babies.

Being a mom

Today I am grateful to be a mam, and to be a stay at home mom.  Being a mom is hard. It's a lot of sacrifice, sleepless nights, hard work, constant attention, hard work, and then some more hard work.  It means having part of your heart walk around outside your body.  Being a mom means putting all of your needs and desires second to the little ones that need you for everything.  Being a mom means that it's now your job to teach this sweet baby everything from manners to walking, eating with a spoon, words, the list is endless really.  And it's the toughest job I have ever had, harder by far then teaching 20 five year olds for 4 hours a day, much harder then my desk job working with Deaf adults, and harder even then 12 hour shifts at a nursing home.

Oh boy is it hard, but so, so worth it.  I do not get paid in money, but I get some of the best hugs and kisses, some of the sweetest mommy moments, and some of the warmest cuddles.  I know that what I do is important, perhaps even the most important job in the world. I would not change it for a minute.  I would not change the stinky diapers, sick babies that are up all night, or even the tantrums for anything.  Because with all those comes "Your the best mommy in the world!"  "I wuve you" from a baby who can barley speak, and the look I see in their eyes. I don't know if I can describe it.  It's a look that says it all.  You are my hero.  I love you.  You are my world.  Thank you.  You are wonderful.  And when they look at me like that nothing else matters, nothing is as important as being as wonderful as they see me.

I am so grateful for all of the hugs, wet kisses, learning moments, pony rides on my back, games of hide-and-seek, walks, spur of the moment picnics, candle light dinners because the kids love candles, holding hands as they fall asleep, stories, songs, scribbles that become works of art, weeds that become more precious then roses, cuddles in the morning, talks at night, and so, so much more.  I am even grateful for the hard times, because it is from them I learn and because of them I appreciate the easy and fun times all the more.
Most of all i am grateful to be a mom because my sweet innocent children help me to want to be a better person, and because as a mom I get an incredible look at God's love.  Knowing how much I love my sweet boys helps me to see how truly deep and perfect Father in heaven's love is.  I love them so much, I would give my life for then without a second thought.  As deep and wonderful as my life is I know that Heavenly Father loves them and all of us even more because His love is perfect and unending.  I thank the Lord every day for the blessing of being a mother.

New days

Today I am grateful for new days.  At the end of each day I think back on my day and I try to see where I could have done better.  I pray and ask Heavenly Father to help me do and be better tomorrow.  Every day I try to be a better person then I was the day before.
I'm not big into watching the sunrise.  I love to see it and all, it's so beautiful, but honesty I love sleep more then beauty.  Don't hate me Elizabeth.  I do love to wake up earlier then my kids so that I can read scriptures without the distractions of every day life around here.  And there is just something about morning that feels so clean and fresh, new even.  When I get to wake up earlier then the kids I curl up on the couch, or sometimes sit at the kitchen table where I can look out the window and see the day.  For a few minutes I revel in the newness of everything and enjoy the quiet. Then I open my scriptures. Early morning is my favorite time to study the scriptures.  It's not just the quiet, I feel somehow closer to God in the newness of the day, almost like I am a new person and being clean I can be closer to Him then ever.
I suppose this is all connected to the atonement.  It is because of the atonement that I get to start each new day over again.  It is because of that sacrifice that I can make every day better then the last.  It is Christ's atoning sacrifice that allows me to be forgiven of my sins each night and start fresh, clean, and close to God. Some day I hope that I will have come far enough that the whole day has that new day feeling.  The "I am clean and close to God feeling."  Because of the atonement I have the hope that someday I will be clean and live in God's presence again.

Veteran's Day

Today I am grateful for freedom.  As it is Veteran's day I have been saving freedom for today.  I have so many freedoms and things that I am grateful for and I know that is is because of the men and women who fight for my freedoms that I have them.
Today I am thinking of Mormon and his title of Liberty  Alma 46:12 And it came to pass that he rent his coat; and he took a piece thereof, and wrote upon it—^aIn memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children—and he fastened it upon the end of a pole.

 13 And he fastened on his head-plate, and his^abreastplate, and his shields, and girded on his armor about his loins; and he took the pole, which had on the end thereof his rent coat, (and he called it the ^btitle of liberty) and he ^cbowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of ^dChristians remain to possess the land-

I am also thinking of Brigham Young who was very patriotic and encouraged the early church members to be patriotic also.  I am proud to be an American and I know it is by the grace of God and the sacrifice of other that I live her so happy, safe and free.
We live in a great country, a country that was guided from the beginning by God, and has been protected from the beginning by those who knew that freedom does not come free.  Today I thank all those who have sacrificed, even unto the giving of their lives, so that I can be free to enjoy my family, life, worship God, and have so many privileges.  I thank you for working so hard and giving so much so that my children can be free and safe.  Thank you!

My husband

Tonight I am very grateful for my husband.  Is is so sweet and loving.  He is supportive and hard working.  He is patient, kind, and understanding.  He loves me and thinks I am beautiful.  He is encouraging, honest, sincere, and he is so very good to me.
I won't overkill this with words.  Sometimes I come across a feeling so deep and pure that I cannot put it into words.  That is how I feel about my love for John.  It's cheesy I know, but I like cheese, Marbled Colby/ Monteray Jack cheese to be exact.

Life

 I am grateful for my life.  I have so much to be grateful for in my life.  My children, my husband, my extended family, the gospel.  I am just happy to be alive.  I love to run, feel the wind, dance crazy with my kids and slow with my husband.  I like to smell flowers and watch thunderstorms.  There is so much.
But you know what I have really been thinking about today? The life before and after this one.  I have never struggled with questions about who I am, where I came from, or where I am going when I die.  I am grateful that it makes sense.  I know that before I was born I lived in Heaven with my Heavenly Father.  Then I came to Earth and got a body.  Then some day I will die and return to live with God again.  When some one close to me dies I am especially grateful for this knowledge.  I know that his life is not the end.  I know that we will be together again.  I am grateful because it is so sad to me to see someone who thinks that dying is the end, that after this life there is nothing.  If that were the case I would wonder what is the point in living.  If there is no reward or punishment after, is there is no life after death, then what is the point of this life?  But that is not the case.  I am living my life the best way I can and getting better every day because I know that if I am good and righteous some day I will live with my Father in Heaven again, and that in my greatest ambition.

My boys

Today I am grateful for my two boys.  I sure love these two munchkins.  They are sweet, funny, full of trouble, playful, helpful, and did I mention full of trouble? (They are in cahoots, see?)
Glen, my angel.  He is so smart it blows my mind sometimes.  He loves to bake and clean.  He loves his brother so much and used to help me feed him and take care of him when he was a baby.  He loves reading and words as much as I do.  Glen is full or trouble and mischief.  He has a great sense of humor and like to tell jokes and play pranks.  He keeps me on my toes and laughing all day long.
Benjamin is my sweet smiley boy.  When he was a baby he was very sick and he did not smile often, but when he smiled he smiled just for me.  I cherished every smile back then, and I still love his cute smiles.  He is also my cuddle bug.  He will always run into my arms for a big hug after I have been gone, when I am sad, or when he thinks I need a hug.  He will wrap his arms around my neck, squeeze, and say "Don't die mommy."  (John's mom used to tell her kids that mom's need hugs or they die, and Benjamin has picked it up too.)  Benjamin loves his brother, he idolizes his brother.  Benjamin follows him everywhere and does everything his big brother does.
These two are my angels, even when they don't act like it.  They play together, they love to wrestle.  They make trouble together, clean up their messes together, love to hide and scare me, and they are my joy in life.  I am so grateful for my boys.  They may keep me busy and be the reason I am so tired, but they are also the reason I am alive, the reason I am a better person today then I was yesterday, the reason I have learned patience, the reason I can laugh, and the reason I feel so loved.  They are my joy.

I am me

Toady I am grateful to be me.  I am grateful to be a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister, daughter, friend, and a child of God.  I am grateful for my strong body that has carried two wonderful children and borne them into this world and fed them until they could eat solid food.  I am grateful for my hair, even the 7 grey ones.  I am grateful for pretty feet, and a nice smile.
I am grateful that I am a woman.  As a woman I have the opportunity to be a mother.  I am protected and provided for by my husband. I may be emotional, but my emotions help me to be loving, sensitive to others, sympathetic, empathetic, and understanding.  As a woman I have a divine gift and calling from God in the ability to deeply love and serve others.
I am grateful for my personality.  I am honest, you will always know where you stand with me.  I get over things fast, I can go from crying to singing in 0-5 minutes.  :)  I love to laugh and play.  I am not afraid to laugh at myself, or others for that matter.  I am cheeky and smart.  I try to be confident and patient and I usually succeed.  I am beautiful, even when I do not feel it.  I love life and have a deep love of learning and knowledge.  I love to help others.  I cannot see suffering without a deep and abiding desire to do something about it.
I am me.  I am a lady.  I am a mom.  I am a child of God.  I am a Latter Day Saint (Mormon).  I am divinely created.  I am me.

Sleep

Today I am grateful for sleep.  It may seem lame to you, but I really cherish a good nights sleep.  They are few and far between.  What with two kids waking up because of nightmares, getting too cold or too hot, being wet, noises, sickness, or other reasons.  Then add to that nights when I can't sleep for one reason or another and the number of good nights sleep can be counted on one hand.
I have not had a good nights sleep in weeks now.  With family here we got to bed late, then the kids got colds, and by then I was so tired that my legs started to hurt.  Right now I am so tired that I feel like I have been waling around in a fog.  People talk to me and it takes me a few seconds to notice it.  But tonight, ah tonight, how I love you.  See tonight my husband is home so that means he can stay up until the kids go to sleep and I can go to bed early.  I am really looking forward to sleeping tonight.  I think I am tired enough that nothing will keep me up.  I sure hope so, otherwise I may turn into a zombie.
Other reasons I am grateful for sleep.  One word.  Cute.  Look at that kid.  That is Benjamin the first night we put him in a crib.  We kept him in a  bassinet until the last possible night so that his brother could keep the crib as long as possible.  Anyway, when he learned to sit up it was time to graduate tot he crib, but he didn't like it. so he sat up until he fell asleep sitting up.  Benjamin can fall asleep anywhere.  While eating, playing, reading.  yesterday he even fell asleep right in a shopping cart.  One second awake, the next he was totally zonked.  It was pretty funny to watch.
Glen falls asleep in all sorts of funny positions too.  Usually he is holding something.  Hugging a book or toy, a statue he got off his dresser, or maybe a blanket.  One time he would not go to sleep unless I was holding his hand and I got tired of sitting there so I put one of his hands in the other and he was too asleep to notice the change.  I giggled and congratulated myself on being smart.  :D
Over all sleep is good, sometimes I would rather stay up late to read, talk, or play, but sleep is good.  With sleep we heal our bodies, rest our brains and bodies, and if you are like me there are some seriously awesome dreams to go along with sleep.  Sleep, I love you and I am grateful for you, especially now when I am so tired and eager to meet up with you again.

Date night

Tonight I am grateful for date night.  Not only are dates fun, even after you get married, but they are important.  It's a time when we get to sit and talk about what ever we want, be as affectionate as we want, and it's really a time time when there are no stresses.  We don't worry about work, school, kids, cleaning, or anything like that.  We just focus on each other and building the love we have.  It's so good for us.  I highly recommend dates.
This fun little picture is the two of us over the summer when we went to a Regency Era ball.  It was so fun!  I never got a chance to go to prom so we kind of treated this like prom.   I made the dress (sort of)  I got ready with a friend who was so funny insisting on making this very prom like for me, she did my hair and everything.  Then john picked me up and he had even gotten me a corsage.  So sweet.
My weeks are long and hard, and I know John's are too.  So come date night we are both ready for a few hours of relaxation.  A few hours where we can forget all the stuff that has been worrying us and just enjoy some time together.  I am also very grateful tonight for John's sister who baby sits so often for us.  Without her we would get far fewer dates.  So thank you to her, and to my sweet husband for taking me on dates.

The Gym

Today I am grateful for the gym.  That may seem odd so some of you, but I really am very grateful for my gym membership.  My friend's mom had a stroke or something and she moved to another state to take care of her mom.  Her gym wasn't in her new home state and so she was trying to sell her gym membership.  I wanted it so bad, but I didn't have a lot of money.  She was so good to work with me and now I have a 3 year gym membership that includes childcare.Over the past 4 months or so that I have been going to the gym I have noticed  a HUGE change in my life. I have lost weight and slimmed down a bit, but that is not why I am grateful for the gym. You see I have some health problems that sometimes make me really sick and cause a lot of pain.  But when I go to the gym on a regular basis it is much better.  The stomach aches go away and the pain is almost completely gone.  But do you want to know the best part?  I get to take my kids to the day care for and hour and a half.  That is 90 minutes all to myself.  I get to work out and, I love this part, take a shower, and I don't have to worry about my boys.  I know they are safe and having fun with new friends and new toys.  So the gym helps me feel better physically, but it also helps me emotionally because of the little breaks I get.  So yes, I am very grateful for the gym, even if I do hate working out most days.  :)

Friends

Today I am grateful for friends, especially my best friends.  There are all sorts of friends.  There are many different types of friends, but the friend that got me thinking tonight is named Aleta.  She lives just down the street from me and we may seem like an unlikely pair.  You see we are different in many ways.  She works, I stay at home.  My kids are little, her kids have kids older then mine.  Well, I guess that's really where the differences end, the stuff on the outside is all that is different.  I'm sure glad it didn't keep us apart.  I met Altea when she was my visiting teacher (It's a church calling where two women go visit other women in the church ward to make sure they are doing well, give a spiritual message, and talk)  She used to come for very short visits because she thought that's what I wanted since I was so busy with my two boys.  One day I told her what I really wanted was long visits.  If she had time could she come visit me for an hour or so so I can have someone to talk to and have some adult conversation.  So she did.  Every month she came for an hour or more.  Every Sunday she would hold my baby so I could listen, and she was always there with a smile and cheery words.  Then she was released from her calling and we were both so sad, but thankfully we have still remained friends.
Well for the past two weeks I have really been struggling.  Tonight I took the kids on the walk they have been begging for and we went to her house.  She was home and we sat and talked for a while, then she walked me home and talked some more.  She read my kids books, talked with me, sympathized, empathized, and encouraged. Her parting hug was so warm and comforting it was like a hug from my mom and my best friend all in one. When she left I felt like the sun had broken through the clouds again.  I am so grateful for friends like her.

Random Moments

 Today I am grateful for random moments of play.  Those times when I have house work to do, or it's time to start dinner, or maybe I am in a rush, and the kids want to play.  This random moment started out as jumping together for a few minutes and then I was going to go in and start dinner.  But the kids begged for more time so I raked up the leaves and we jumped in them and had a leaf fight.  Dinner was late, but moments like this are what life is really all about.

 I heard once that quality time, the time that will mean the most to our kids, doesn't come scheduled or planned.  It comes spontaneously.  It comes as you are headed out the door for work.  It comes when you thought he was asleep 20 minutes ago.  It comes when we are rushed or grumpy.  It comes in the restaurant when your trying the keep kids occupied while they wait for food.  These are the moments that will mean the most to them, the ones that we will probably forget, but they never will.

I am so grateful for the times when I take these little opportunities to play trains, jump in puddles, and throw leaves.  I am grateful for the times when I have made sure not to let them just pass by thinking I could do it later.  Part of the magic for children is getting to play and read right when they ask, not having to wait 20 minutes.  Waiting takes forever and often waiting takes too long and the opportunity to make a golden memory is past.  And I am grateful that even though I let these moments slip away sometimes, there will be many more, and I am learning to see them and appreciate them for how truly special and magical they really are.

The Gospel of Christ

Last month I made a goal to post every day about something that I am grateful for.  It's all good to post on Facebook, but people post so often on Facebook it gets lost too fast for me.  I forgot about my goal until people started posting gratitude things on Facebook, so for that I am also grateful.

When I was thinking about all the things I am grateful for and trying to choose which one to begin with I chose the Gospel of Christ because of all my blessing the Gospel is the best.  All of my other blessing flow from the gospel.

I am grateful for the gospel of Christ.  I am grateful for the peace it gives me, the understanding, and the joy, pure joy.  I know that Jesus Christ lived and died for me.  He knows my name and I know that He loves me.  I know that my Father in Heaven knows me and loves me.  He cares about me and my children.  I know He does, my children are His and he will teach me how to raise them and guide them.

It is through my faith in my Lord and Redeemer that I find the strength to make it through the hard days.  It is with Joy that I look forward to the Resurrection and the eternities with my family because it is the gospel that gives me the knowledge that family ties endure after death.  Yes, there is life after this existence.  I know that there is.  I know that my redeemer lives, he is my savior and my king.  He is my greatest blessing and I will be eternally grateful for His life, His love, and His atoning sacrifice for me.

Fun stories

This kid is so funny and so cute.  He tells stories that are so full of imagination.  When I took this picture he had taken a story I just told him, The Three Little Pigs, and changed it to be about three horses and it was nothing like The Three Little Pigs.  I have a few cute stories of my own.
Yesterday I was trying to get Glen to clean up his toys before bed bed, but he didn't want to.  He was telling me all the reasons why he couldn't help clean up.  "I have a headache, My stomach hurts.  I ate too much, I'm hungry.  My foot hurts and I can't walk.  I'm too old."  This was one of those time when I'm not sure whether to laugh or pull my hair out.
Earlier that day we made a deal that if he let me take a nap then I would let him watch a movie even though it was a no technology day.  So I put on Avatar the Last Air Bender for him and lay down.  Ever 10 minutes or so he came in.  Mom, I need you, can I have a yogurt?  Mom, I need you, can you help me open it?  Mom, I need you, I spilled on the couch and my shirt.  Mom, I need you, I want to watch another episode.  Mom, I need you, can I play a game.  Mom, I need you, is Benjamin awake yet?  Can he really be that cute *and* that annoying all at the same time?  Yes.  Yes, he can.