Don't blink

How could I have missed that my sweet baby boy is no longer a baby? This morning Glen was playing and told Benjamin he was the fire nation and Benjamin said "No, I the baby." Less then an hour later my baby had transformed into a big boy. How did I miss that? I was looking at him and I thought, wow, he sure has grown up. So I told him I love him and he said "Love you." and blew me a kiss. When did this happen?

It's kind of sad to see them grow up so fast, but at the same time it's a happy thing. I see how he grows and progresses, how smart he is, and how much he learns every day. How can I not be happy for that. But I miss the baby he was. I miss...I suppose it's not the baby I miss. As a baby he was so sick all the time and so miserable. I would not want to send him back to that. It's not the cuddles I miss because he is still a very cuddly boy never afraid to sit and hug me, give kisses,, and then wrestle me to the ground. I guess what makes me sad is knowing that as he grows up he needs me less. Right now I am his whole world, his everything, but some day i wont be. I know he will grow up and make friends, start dating and eventually have a family of his own.

OK, I know his isn't even two yet, but I connect the dots, it's how I am. I am missing him already. But somehow connecting the dots is good. Knowing what will happen and how much I will miss him when he grows up helps me to cherish the time I have with him now. It helps me put away the book I am reading to get down on the floor and play cars. It helps me be patient through the tantrums knowing there is a hug ion the other side of the storm. It helps me hold him closer, hug tighter, give more kisses and cuddles, and show more love. I just want to scoop him up on my arms, spin him around and squeeze him until he squeaks and giggles. In fact, I think I will go do that right now.