Spring?

Hey look!  A fun post!  :)  With John gone I have no one to share my deep thoughts with so you lovely people are my new audience.  :D  But here is a purely fun one for you.

Today was a beautiful 50 degrees outside and we just had to go out.  We played ninja dodge ball (just like regular dodge ball, but you have to do cool ninja moves to escape the ball) Frisbee, hunted for empty snail shells, looked at the tulips that are popping up and then took to sidewalk chalk.  What do my kids do with sidewalk chalk?  Math, what else?  *Disclaimer, we are all nerds*

 Glen did this one, 4+1=5 and also the one below that says 100+100=200.

 Benjamin wrote the biggest 100 ever, with tons of zeros all across the trampoline.

 Oh looks, some happy people, also some stick figures.

 And here is the beach they drew.  Yellow sand, blue water, and purple poisoned water.  Wait, poisoned water?  Apparently it punches you in the face.

They were having so much fun out there that I had to force them to come in for lunch.  They were outside for 3 hours and it wasn't enough.  I hope this is not a false little spring, but the real thing come early.  If it really is 60 on Monday like it's supposed to be then we are heading to the park!

Storms of life

Two of my favorite sayings are "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." and "Sometimes the Lord quiets the storm to calm the child and sometimes He calms the child and lets the storm rage on."
Yesterday during family scriptures we read about the brother of Jared and his family as the built boats and got ready to go to the promised land.  If you remember the Lord told them to build the boats in such a way that they were water-proof, "Tight like unto a dish."  The reason for this is that when they got going the Lord steered them towards the promised land using a continuous, strong wind. (See Ether 6:5 and 8)
I have read this story more times then I can count, but for some reason it really struck home to me yesterday.  Perhaps it because I feel like the past few months everything imaginable has hit me, my husband is gone, I was really sick for a long time, sick kids, I got sick again, 10 weeks turned into "I don't know when I can come home, dear." and at times I have felt like it was more then I could handle.  In the scriptures there is wind, a lot of it, "Furious wind," but the important part is that that wind was continually getting them closer to this great place the Lord had in mind for them.
We stopped at that point to talk about it.  Wind usually means a storm.  Storms usually represent something bad is about to happen or is happening.  So maybe the Lord uses hard times to propel us to where He wants us to go.  Was it hard for them to be stuck in those boats being pushed around by the wind and the waves?  I bet it was super tough and at time they thought they couldn't take much more.  But what was at the end?  They reached the promised land.  A beautiful, fruitful place where they would be safe and happy.
Sometimes the storms of life are tough, sometimes I feel like they are more then I can handle, but now I can remember that the Lord is using them to help me get where He wants me to be and that place is better then where I am now.  It is a place where I will be safe and happy and closer to him.  I can also remember that the wind helps trees to become stronger, and this storm will help me to become stronger as well.

Living a dream

Since I was a small girl one of my dreams has been to write a book.  As I have gotten older that desire has only become greater.  I kind of gave up though.  See, I'm not very good at details or monologues and a story is no good without both.  I have tried writing stories and books many times and each time I have been so dissatisfied I could not continue.
Well, last night I read an article in the news about a mother of a special needs child who hated to be told she was wonderful because she just didn't feel wonderful.  I thought that's about what every mom feels like.  I have yet to meet a mother who feels as truly wonderful as they are.  I spent the next hour or so having a conversation with this woman and my husband in my head.  I told them how I have come to be able to see myself with more love and patience because I try to see myself as God sees me.  To Him, I am wonderful because He made me and I am His.  He loves me, not because I am perfect, but because I am trying so hard.  To Him, I am wonderful and so when I get a compliment I can see myself as he sees me and know that I really am pretty great.
At the end of this long conversation I knelt down to say my prayers and told Heavenly Father that I had never asked for this desire out loud before because I never felt qualified, but I really want to be an inspirational speaker.  I told him I knew he had given me gifts to encourage and inspire people and I wanted to use those gifts.  Then the thought came to write a book.  What a great idea!  In a non fiction book I don't need to worry about tons of details and making up conversations that seem real.  In this book I could just share my thoughts and let the spirit guide me and it would work.
So here I go, I'm starting a new journey.  I don't know how it will end up, maybe nothing will happen, maybe something really good will happen.  I know that wherever the Lord leads me I will go and I will do.  It will be a great experience and I am sure I will grow immensely.  And maybe, just maybe along the way I'll get my hearts desire and find someone to encourage and inspire,  maybe I can help them see themselves as the Lord sees them and they will see how amazing they are!

Priorities

I have had the flu this week, the last three days I spent layed out on the couch pretty much all day.  One of those days I didn't ask for help putting my kids to bed and it went kind of like this:  Time to brush your teeth. No, brush, not suck, not chew, here, let me do it for you.  Ok, now time to pray, kneel down.  No kneel, not lay, stop playing with your sister and pray, never mind.  Let's read scriptures.  Bring me your scriptures please.  Pick a verse.  No, not in the index, here.  21, k, lets start, come sit back down.  Stop laying on your sister, put down the toy.  I was starting to feel like yelling so I said never mind to that too and just told them to get into bed and they could read until I came in to tuck them in at 8 like I usually do.  That night I was feeling guilty for not helping Benjamin read scriptures or pray.  Glen had done it on his own, but Benjamin still needs help.  Then I thought that while it is important for my kids to learn to read and pray each night, they also need to learn that mommy loves them and is kind.  I'd rather have them skip everything and go straight to bed at times them to have me turn into a screaming monster mom to get it done.
It has been extremely hard being sick the past few days, but I can say I am very grateful for this lesson learned.

True Love

Happy Valentine's Day to the Love of my life!

This was posted by John <3>

The kingdom of Heaven is like Leven

Mathew 13:33 Another Parable spake he unto them; The kingdom of heaven is like unto leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened. 

This parable was brought up the other day in church and for the first time I got it, I mean really got it. It's probably all the baking I do, but I could visualize how important yeast is.  See that tiny little pile?  That's about 1 tablespoon of yeast.  That big bowl has 6 cups of flour in it.  That tiny little pile gets mixed in with the flour and even though it's really small it makes that large amount of flour rise into two beautiful loaves of bread. Like so;

It's more then double the size it was when I shaped the loaf.
In Sunday school the teacher said that the amount of leaven is small, but it is that small amount that raises the whole loaf of bread.  As true followers of Christ our numbers may be small, but we can have a great impact on the world and we can raise others.  Every kind word, act of service, or testimony born helps to raise others.
"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass, and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6
I love these little treasures in the gospel!

Elizabeth

 Elizabeth's turn!  I can't tell you how happy I was to find out I was having a girl.  Boys are fun, but they are not girls.  The day Elizabeth was born I just could not get enough of her.  I didn't want them to take her for any reason, when we got home I wouldn't even let John hold her very often.  He made me share with him and his mom, but I sure didn't want to.
She is so full of peace and happiness, always smiling.  She brings me so much joy.  It's hard not to smile when she climbs to the top of the toy shelf, stands up straight and tall and grins for all the world, as if she is saying, look at what I did!  She is a monkey! She is a determined girl, I can see it in how many times she climbs back on to the shelf right after falling off, in the way she will push, pull, and drag chairs to where she wants them no matter what is in the way.  She is independent.  She does not like me to feed her or even help her eat.  She never wants to sit still and changing her or getting her dressed is a struggle because she just won't hold still.  Despite her independence and determination she is also patient.  She lets her brother carry her around and wrestle her to the ground with such a long suffering look it makes me laugh.  And when she comes over for a hug or climbs in my lap for a short cuddle it just melts my heart.  I still can't get enough of this sweet girl, my Elizabeth.

Glen

After writing about Benjamin last night, I thought I'd write about Glen.  Glen is my mini me.  He LOVES to read.  I had to create a limit at bedtime because he was staying up until 10:00 or even 12:00 reading! I remember one time about a year ago when he would not stay in bed an be quiet.  He kept coming out so I told him if he came out again or made noise I would discipline him.  Well, he started making a lot of noise so I went in and spanked him.  Nothing.  Then I told him to give me his books and he screamed his head off as he handed me the 10 books he had on his bed.  I went out and John asked what happened, I said "You might think I beat him, but I didn't.  I took his books."  He sleeps with books like some kids to with stuffed animals.  Often he is quiet and I go to see what he is up too, you know when kids are quiet it means trouble, but more often then not he is just reading.
He is compassionate and so empathetic.  Even as a little baby he would always crawl into my lap to hug me and offer his binky when I was crying.  He says the most profound things to me.  Like when my friend died.  He came up to me as I sat crying and he told me "It's ok, maybe Jesus needs her and she will always be in your heart."  He is such a cuddler too.  He is so big, but he still wants to crawl into my lap and cuddle.  He come in to sleep with me most night since John left, often he has woken after a bad dream, but one night he said "I just came in to cuddle, I didn't want you to be alone ans scared."
Glen is a big tease too.  He likes to make up jokes and stories and he is so good at it sometimes I can't tell when he is telling me a real story and when he is making it up.
Glen, my angel, bookworm, cuddle bug, loving, silly boy.

Benjamin

I've got to brag about Benjamin for just a minute, humor me, k?  Benjamin is one of my favorite people in the whole world.  Each of my children are so very different and so I love them for different reasons. Benjamin is such a combination of opposites.  He hits and kicks when he is mad, but he is so cuddly and full of love.  He is overly serious at times, and other times he is a big goof.  He can be quiet for hours at a time, or talk your ear off.  Is is stubborn, funny, a hard worker, and an engineer at heart.  He loves numbers, puzzles and his little sister.

Today we played Lego's and he talked my ear off.  Then he turned around and tried to wrestle his sister to the ground.  He pretended to be Pikachu, kicked me when he got mad, the told me all about his favorite snack as if nothing had happened.  Sometimes he is so confusing, but I can't help but love him so much.  He thinks he is so sneaky getting out of bed.  I go back there and find him curled up in bed "hiding."  He is a finisher.  Today he volunteered to clean the toilet for his chore, bless his heart.  Then the toilet brush broke.  Did he give up?  No way!  He cleaned it with a rag, by hand, then cleaned the outside.  After I told him he was done he told me all the spots he had missed and asked me to watch him finish.  Then he came in and helped me clean the kitchen just so he could wipe off the counters.
He stops me in my tracks and wonder what is going on, he reminds me to take time to stop and appreciate the world around me, he has such tender moments, such a sweet smile.
My sweet Benjamin has a very special place in my heart.