This is my friend Jen. She died Tuesday. I can't believe it. I still expect her to call and ask to come over, or to text me and ask if we can go shopping together. My heart hurts.
I only got to know Jen for a little over a year, but I feel so blessed. I learned so much from her. She was such a great example of Christ like love. She was always smiling and always thinking of others. The Saturday before her surgery we went out for a girls night. We went out to dinner, saw a movie and went shopping. She was trying to decide if she would need a head scarf, but in the next breath she told me about her friend who had dogs and couldn't get out to get them dog food, could we take her some. That was Jen, every time we went to the store she was thinking of someone else's needs. Her friend with cats would like that cat litter, it was on sale she should get it for her. Did I need baby bottles? Let's get some dish washer detergent for her friend who is home bound, no, lets get two.
Every time one of her sisters went though baby clothes she would ask me if I needed any, did I want more baby bottles? What about a swing?
We got to be visit teaching partners for most of the time I knew Jen. We are both big talkers and we would sometimes compete. I learned to listen, she had some amazing things to say if I would stop talking long enough to listen. She loved the gospel, you could just feel that when you were with her. She taught me a very valuable lesson about being kind. She taught me that you will never regret being kind.
Love, that is the one word I would use to describe Jen. She loved everyone, especially kids. She would tell me about the kids she taught in primary years ago, the ones that are now teens, she would tell me about her nieces and nephews, it was obvious that she adored them. Then she would tell me that she was always talking about my kids. I know I can't put it into words well, she just loved people. She loved them for who they were, she loved all of them, not just parts.
I will miss her coming over to talk, to play with my kids and hold my babies. The day she died I cried because she wouldn't get to meet my Abigail. Then I thought, "she will get to meet my baby before I will, give her a hug for me Jen, give her some of your love."
When my neighbor called to tell me Jen was dying I thought "Ok, she will have a strong healthy body and get to be with her mom, that is good." I was ok for about an hour, and then no amount of logical thinking made me happy. I'm not sad for her, I am happy for her, but I am so very sad for me. I will miss her so much. I am sad for my kids, for the world that does not get to have her anymore. She is almost constantly in my thoughts, I find myself talking to her as I do the dishes, just like I used to. I find myself looking out the window, looking for her and missing her. Life without her seems a little less bright, a little less happy. But then I think of the hope and joy of the atonement and gospel and I can smile through my tears.
I'm sure this is all jumbled and scrambled, just like my thoughts, but I could not pass up the opportunity to share my tribute to Jen. For those that knew her and those that didn't. I am eternally grateful to have had Jen as my friend and for all that she taught me.
This is a beautiful tribute to a great woman and friend. I miss her, too. She was born the same year as my son Nathan, and he is sad about her loss as well. She is a great example of unconditional love and forgiveness. We will do well to remember her example always. And to look forward to the day when we will meet her (and her mother) again.
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