Storms and Prayer

I have had a lot on my mind lately, hence the thoughtful posts instead of the cute kids posts, don't worry, they will come back.

I just finished reading a really great article The un-miracle of the tornado prayer. It got me thinking of my own struggles recently. I haven't had anything big to deal with, but I have been fighting an internal battle, of sorts, for the past few days. I battle fear and anxiety. I have prayed for the struggle to cease, for the strength to do what needs to be done despite the fact that I am driven to distraction, I have prayed to know what to do, but mostly I just want it all to go away. I am such a wimp sometimes.

Even though I have prayed often, fervently, and faithfully the struggle remains, the battle is still being fought. Why? I know the Lord answers our prayers so why isn't he answering mine? HE IS! The Lord ALWAYS answers our prayers. I know he does. That doesn't mean that He is going to take away our problems or struggles, but He will strengthen us, give us peace, and teach us through it all. Reading that article just confirmed all that I know. He does hear our prayers, and even when He does not answer with what we want He DOES answer.

I have not ceased to feel afraid, the battle with in has not ceased, but I feel peaceful. I can feel a sense of peace even as my insides clutch with fear. I know that I am doing well, that I am helping others. And even when my brain fuzzes over with fear and my stomach feels like it's being twisted in knots (constant feelings the past feel days) I am still able to be a good mother and do the task the Lord has set before me.

‎"Some times the Lord quiets the storm to calm the child, and sometimes He calms the child and lets the storm rage on." For now the storm rages on, but I am calm.