You are awesome!

Painting by Greg Olsen

Guess what?  I have just learned something.  It's one of those things that I have known all along, but now I understand it.  One day it just hit me.  You are awesome.  No I don't know most of you, but I still know you are awesome.  Do you want to know how I know?  Because God created you.  He created you just the way you are.  With all of your flaws, talents, personality, and everything.  He made you on purpose and because God is perfect He made you perfect.  That makes you awesome!  That's not pride, that is a fact.  You are awesome.  Say it, doesn't it feel good knowing that God made you just the way you are?  It feels great.  I know there is still room for growth, and every day I can become better.  But God knows me right now, how I am right now and He loves me and I am awesome, so are you.

I know he created you and me.  I know he made my sister really strong.  I know me made my oldest son really smart, my youngest really tender.  I know he made my husband really patient.  I know he made my friend really enthusiastic.  He made us just the way we are.  I love that.  I love that that makes us important.  Think about it.  We aren't important to most of the world.  I bet 98% of the world doesn't even know your name.  But He does!  He knows your name, your needs, your life, challenges, joys, fears, heartaches, loves, and triumphs.  He knows you and He loves you.  You are His child, His creation, His masterpiece.

You are awesome, don't forget it.  And don't let anyone ever tell you different, after all who knows more, some silly person or our all knowing, all loving, all powerful Father in heaven?

An answer to prayers

Sorry it's been so long folks, I have been a busy lady.  I just joined Mary Kay as a consultant--but let me start at the beginning.  When John and I got married I heard a talk by Elder Henry B. Eyering and he promised that any couple who pays a full and honest tithe will find a way for mother to stay at home with the children.  I wanted that, I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I claimed that blessing, we have always paid a full and honest tithe and I have expected that some how it would work.  I know the Lord keeps his promises and I knew he would help us find a way.  I has been tough, super tough.  I stopped trying to figure out how it worked because there was no way, but somehow I have been able to stay home with our boys.
Lately I have been getting kind of tired of the tough part.  I'm not trying to complain here, I know I am so blessed, but I felt so stressed and worried much of the time.  Where would we get the money for clothes, diapers, was there going to be enough for rent.  I got tired of always telling my kids "No, we don;t have the money."  And I want another child so badly, but there just isn't enough money for another.  About a year ago I started feeling like I needed to do something to bring some money in.  I still wanted to stay home and felt like I needed to to and that I could.  The Lord was not telling me to put the kids in day care and find full time work.  So I searched and I thought of all kinds of ways.  The problem was that I couldn't find anything that would let me stay home AND still spend time with my kids.  Then my sister in law asked me to come to some Mary Kay thing with her.  I had been thinking about it, but I don't do make up or fancy clothes and I wasn't wild about the idea.  Until I learned more, that is.  I was sold that first night.  I felt nervous thought, I have heard a lot of bad things about Mary Kay and I didn't want to make a mistake that could cost us money we didn't have.  So I prayed about it and I got a really good feeling, and now?  Now I am determined to take this opportunity the Lord has led me to, because I feel like He has truly led me here, and I am going to make it work, I am going to succeed.  I can feel His guidance still and I am grateful to find something that I can do to stay home with my kids.  My favorite part?  Part time at Mary Kay is 6 hours, and full time is 12-15 hours.  Full time is half of my husbands part time schedule and I can do that while the kids nap and after they go to bed.  I am just so grateful.

SOPA

Do me a favor.  Read up on SOPA.  It sounds like a really bad idea to me, something like this is bound to have big consequences.  IF you don't like it visit this link https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/ and sign the petition or call your local representative.  If you agree with the SOPA act then tell me why, I'd welcome a civil discussion and the opportunity to learn more.

Fun story

So I was just thinking today, remembering some fun times.  You know what never fails to make me giggle?  Thinking about being pregnant with Benjamin.  When I announced it in church and told my midwife are some of the funnest memories I have.  I thought I'd just share them here.
First off, I didn't find out I was pregnant for nearly 6 months.  I know, your thinking, "Seriously?  How can that be?"  Denial mostly.  See, people tell you nursing is great birth control, but they never tell you it is only birth control for 6 months and only if you nurse your baby EVERY 2 hours without missing a single one.  So when my husband asked me if I was pregnant I told him no it wasn't possible.  Then I felt the baby kick, like really kick and I took a test just to see.  Yup.  A few days later I announced it in Relief Society (The LDS women's church group) and got the usual congratulations, when are you due?  I told them my due date, in 3 months, and every one did a double take.  Hehe, ya that was good, it really got every one interested.  :)
I think my visit with the midwife was even more fun though.  Here is about how it went.
"So you think your pregnant?"
"I know I am."
"OK, when did you find out?"
"Last week."
"And how far along do you think you are?"
"About 6 months."
"...ok, well let's just do a  test, ok?"
So she gave me the test, it came back positive, and she assured me I wasn't that far along.  She pulled out her little ultra sound thing  to try to find a heart beat and Benjamin kicked so hard the wand jumped off my belly and we could both see it.  She believed me then and sent me for another ultra sound that confirmed I was pretty far along, but only about 5 1/2 months.
I remember thinking how glad I was to not have to wait so long, I mean 9 months?  It seems like forever when you are so excited about a new baby.  But those last 3 months just crawled.  But he came, and Benjamin has been such a joy in my life.  His smiles, hugs and kisses, his imagination.  He is my boy and I love him so much.

Life today

Me: I don't like being in pictures very much, few women do, but I like this one.  After my kids were born I was a size 20.  Eventually I got down to 18, but I kind of just stayed there and everyone told me "Oh you have kids, you will never be skinny again."  I am a very determined person and if you tell me I cannot do something you can bet your buttons I will do it!  So I came across a gym membership, started paying more attention to what I eat and how much and now I am down to a size 12 and still dropping.  SO I say to you other moms who don't like the way you feel and look, don't give up, you can do it!  My goal was to have the energy to keep up with my kids, but I have found so many more advantages.
Oh ya, and I am going to start being a Mary Kay consultant to make a little extra money.  Again with the determination.  I wanted to do it for a little play money, but some one had to go and tell me I couldn't make good money doing it.  Now I am out to prove them wrong.  I'll keep you posted.
John: John is waiting to hear back on whether he got a job he applied for.  He has applied for so many and is having such a hard time finding a job.  He has a part time job right now, but this would be a career a big boy job if you know what I mean.  We are keeping our fingers crossed.  If he gets this job it mean big things for us, big changes.  We could move to a bigger place and have more kids, he would have a job he loves working with people he already knows and likes, and it would be a lot less stress for all of us.
Glen: Glen is crazy and sill and smart as a whip.  We have made a time each day for learning time.  He is learning to write and read more words.  He learns about 2-4 new words every day and just blows me away.  He is so smart and so funny, he loves to joke and tell stories.  I'll put one of the stories he told today and give you a glimpse of his imagination.
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Horsemaker.  One day Horsemaker was walking in the forest when a tree fell on her and broke her leg.  So her father gave her a new leg, a big one like his.  Then another tree and broke her other leg so her father gave her another big leg.  Now she was big and strong like her father, except her legs didn't have any toes.  They had been cut off by Abigail the goblin."
That is my 3 year old.  =D  Oh, Glen also started into Primary last week.  He was a little nervous at first, but he loves his class and teacher.
Benjamin: Benjamin is as sweet as ever.  I don't know what I would do without his hugs.  He is so cute.  He will just walk up to you and wrap his arms around whatever part he can reach.  He is a big hugger.  During meals he will lean over and hug whoever is closest, sticky hands and all.
He idolizes his brother, goes where he goes, does what he does, says what he does.  But they get along well and enjoy having a play mate. Speaking of Benjamin, he is crying right now so I better go get him.  See you later.

That's not a good idea

Today for family scripture study we read about Lehi leaving all of his gold and precious things and his home to take his family into the wilderness. (1 Nehpi chapter 2) To try and bring it home I asked Glen what he thought of the idea of leaving all of his toys, books, and horses and we left our home with only food and clothes.  He got this look of sadness on his face, like I had really asked him to do it, and said "That's not a good idea."  Then I tested him.  I told him that Lehi was sad to leave too and it must have been hard to leave all of his toys, money, friends and home, but the Lord told him to because Jerusalem was going to be destroyed.  I asked him if he would leave if Heavenly Father asked him to.  His response really surprised me.  He said, "If Heavenly Father asked me to leave all of my books and horses and only take food and clothes and leave my home it would be hard, but I would do it if Heavenly Father asked me to.  And he would help me."
Wow, some times I wonder if Glen has stronger faith then I do.  Would I be able to leave all of my precious things, my friends and my home to go somewhere I had never heard of or been?  Would I complain or have faith?  Sometimes Glen really inspires me to be a better person.  To have more faith, be more forgiving, and kinder.  I feel so blessed to have his inspiring example to help me.  Sometimes I think he teaches me more then I teach him.

Just kidding

Ha, so there are pictures.  I remember my sister having her camera now.  Of course she had her camera. She is a photographer, she always has her camera, even when the rest of us don't.  Yay for Jennifer!!!  So I stole the pictures of my kids off of her blog, I hope she doesn't mind.  :) and here they are.

 This is Benjamin opening a present From Grammy and Papa.  It's a John deer truck, trailer and the best part (in my opinion) a Gater on the back.  I used to drive a gater around when I did Facilities maintenance years ago and I thought it was the best part since I didn't have a drivers licence yet.  Yay, I love it! So does he, but he likes the white truck part more.  :)

 Here is Glen opening one of his favorite gifts, also from Grammy and Papa.  It's a Toy Story lego set.  He also has another lego set that had two horses and they go well together.

And here in my Jedi son.  During family pictures Benjamin was cold and so John gave him his sweatshirt.  It went down to his feet and the arms had to be tied in a knot.  My brothers in law thought he looked like a Jedi so my sister made a light saber for him.  This is possibly the best picture of the year.  :D

cameraless Christmas

No camera = no pictures, sorry folks.  We went to Southern Utah for  Christmas this year and I didn't take my camera.  I thought about it, then I thought of the hundreds of pictures from the last time we went and I figured that I would just get copies from some one else.  After all there were 3-4 cameras last time. Ya, I think that either everyone else was thinking the same thing or in the chaos that is so many people and kids we all just forgot.  Whatever the case I realized the week after Christmas that I had no pictures.  My shame is the reason for such a late post.
Christmas was great though.  In years past I have really struggled finding a balance between giving gifts and focusing on Christ.  It's hard with kids, Christmas is big and kids think for months about what they are going to get, Santa coming, candy canes, presents, cookies, and cocoa.  But I have found that it is not impossible to teach kids a Christ centered message in the midst of so much materialism.  Last year for Easter I put pictures of Christ in the Easter eggs along with small candies and toys.  Glen was so excited to find the pictures of Christ that he didn't pay much attention tot he candy or toys until after he had found and showed me all of the pictures.
So we found a groove for Easter.  Christmas seemed harder, more intimidating.  We found a way to make it work for us though.  We have debated the whole Santa thing at our house.  Santa isn't real, not the way kids see him, but there is something special in believing in Santa.  We found middle ground. We did three things this year. We did not play Santa up.  He doesn't bring all the gifts, but he does bring a some gifts.  This year he brought a lot because someone did a sub for Santa for us.
We made Christ the focus of our home.  He is always the focus of our home, but in December we a make a little more effort and focus on his birth.  We have toy nativity sets for the kids, we read Luke Chapter 2 every night in December, and we watched movies about the birth of Christ.
The other thing that we found worked was to minimize the number of gifts the kids received.  They got 1-2 things from us and one from Santa.  That way we do not get lost in the materialism that Christmas has become.
I feel a need to anchor my children in the gospel, to teach them what is truly important and where true happiness is found.  I fear for them.  In a world that is becoming increasingly evil I worry a lot about them.  Are the messages I teach them going to mean more then the messages of the world. Will they hear my voice or the world's?  My hope is that our family traditions for Easter, Christmas, and our daily lives will help prepare them for the wickedness they will face as they grow.