Missing Fishers

Today I started to think about all of the things I miss about living in Fishers, Indiana.  I have to admit that living there was not the greatest experience of my life, it was incredibly challenging and full of struggles, but I cannot ignore the good either.  So I started to put together a list of all that I miss, I know it won't be complete, but it was nice to sit and think of all the good for a few minutes.

I miss the humidity,

I miss the giant field we used to play in,

Evening soccer games with the kids,

Oooh, having two swimming pools.

I miss all of the home school resources and that amazing library.

I miss Kim and her fur babies.  I miss watching the boys play fetch with them until both dogs and boys were so tired they laid down in the grass to rest together.

I miss my work out class with all those fun ladies.

I miss Carmen,

and Daniell and her girls, her whole family,

I miss Swetha and Priya and all the friends I made over there.

I miss the smell of Indian food and get togethers with good friends that also included good food. :)

I miss the diversity of people, and getting to know more about and learnimg to love Hindus, Muslims, and Christians all the same.

I miss the sound of cicadas and chasing fireflies at night.

I miss the bug hunts and the giant spiders.  (I do not miss the mosquitoes.)

I miss the thunder storms and playing in the warm rain with my kids.

I miss the summer BBQs at the park with the Methodist church down the street and how everyone would talk about religion without worrying they would offend someone.  

I miss the missionaries.  I miss feeding them and chatting with them and being the go to home away from home.

I miss the smell of summer nights as we sat on our deck and just talked.

I guess even the hardest time in my life was also the best time in my life. So many of those experiences never would have happened here in Utah.  I have so many wonderful, sweet memories, and I cherish them all.

Tough questions, easy answers

Yesterday and today I asked my kids some kind of scary questions.  I thought for sure they would have plenty to say, but once again they showed me that I'm not doing that bad.  I asked them what their favorite thing about me is, what their favorite thing to do with me is, what they don't like about me and what they would change if they could change one thing about me.  The answers surprised and moved me.
Their favorite thing about me- Benjamin said "Your smile" Glen said "That you let me play at the park."
Their favorite thing to do with me is- Benjamin said "Cuddle on the couch." Glen said "Play at the park with you."
They don't like- Benjamin said "I can't think of anything." Glen said "That we are so the same. Same eye color, same hair."
If they could change one thing about me it would be- Benjamin said "You would not hurt so much." (he said he was referring to the pain in my body) Glen said "You would read to me more.
I did wait until they were in good moods to ask, other wise, I'm sure they would have had plenty to say!  :)
But they didn't have one comment about how often I say no. No mention of yelling, they didn't call me mean, or any of the other million things I beat myself up for on a daily basis.  I need to learn to be more gentle with myself, gentle like my kids are.

Medieval feast

The first course: salad, soup and bannock on our trenchers.

  We have spent the last few weeks learning about everything medieval. Castles, knights, the power of the Catholic church during the middle ages, hunting and hawking, names, heraldry (we even created our own coat of arms), we made our own butter, learned about feasts, Gothic architecture, and so many other things that I can't even tell you!  We have had so much fun learning to write with turkey quills, learning about the lives of surfs and kings, and laying siege to block castles.  After finishing our middle ages book, A Door in the Wall, we had our middle ages party.  We have a party each time we finish a long book like that.  This time we planned a feast and a movie night.  We are currently watching The Court Jester, I love this movie!  Why do we have a party?  Because experiencing something, living it, really brings the lesson home.  We try the food from the time period,  or country we have studied and an activity that we learned about, like our Korean pottery.  So tonight we had a four course feast, complete with trenchers, a dancing gypsy, minstrel music, court jesters, Paiges to help the king wash his hands, and many out cries of "off with his head!"  It was fun to see each boy take a turn entertaining the king or acting as Paige.  We all tried to talk as if we lived in the middle ages and talk of anything not yet invented was banished, I smuggled in my camera though. :)

relearning lessons

"Over the last year I have learned so much, I cannot even begin to list off everything I have learned.  I have learned to let go of the little things that are unimportant so that I can cherish what is.  I have learned to be less of a stickler about bedtime and cuddle more.  I have learned to hold onto my babies because soon enough they are going to pull away and run off on their own.  I have finally learned to make the mundane divine as I work backstage to keep the house running, the kids happy and fed, and be everyone's personal cheerleader.  I have learned to be less selfish so that I have more of myself to give.  I learned that I didn't move out here to save the world, I moved out here so God could save my world, my family.  I have learned to dance in the rain, figuratively and literally, and I have learned that when storms come the safest thing to do is to hold on to my family for dear life!"

I wrote that last April.  I need to relearn those lessons.  Motherhood is a wonderful and beautiful experience, but sometimes the beauty gets buried under the mountain of laundry and dishes.  The wonder of it all gets lost along with shoes and socks and I forget how to enjoy my journey.  Well, today I am recommitting to finding that joy.  I will relearn those lessons again this month, and again as often as I need to.

One crazy week

This week has been one crazy week, I mean crazier then normal.  Do we do normal?  First off I started potty training Elizabeth.  I was going to wait until school got out and potty train both girls at the same time (It was either a stoke of brilliance or a sign I'm clearly losing my mind) but for some reason Thursday we jumped right in.  It didn't go so well and I was ready to go back to putting it off, but I told myself to give it a week and the second day was great.  The best part is that even though I had decided not to try both girls, Abigail wanted to do it on their own.  Today Elizabeth refuses to even try, and I have hurt my neck so I'm fine with that, not that I would force it anyway.  Potty training is as much a milestone as walking or reading and you can't push it.  She'll get it.
In other news, because potty training really isn't the most exciting thing in our life right now, thank goodness, we had a rock star week in school.
Saturday we bought some dry ice to play with, only to discover it had disappeared overnight in the freezer, so Monday we all ventured out to get some more and figure out the mystery of the disappearing dry ice.  We brought it home and did a few experiments, what happens to ice in water, what happens to dry ice, what happens to regular ice on the hot sidewalk, what about dry ice, can you tell the difference?  Then they boys, being boys, had to test whether or not dry ice really hurts if you touch it, and what would happen if they put it on the grass and other plants.  We learned tons! (seriously, one of the best parts of homeschooling is getting to learn what they learn)  We learned that dry ice makes the water bubble, regular ice melts into a puddle on the sidewalk, but dry ice leaves no trace. The reason for that is because dry ice is super concentrated and frozen carbon dioxide, the stuff we breath out.  As a gas it evaporates where as regular ice is frozen water and melts.  That is also why the water bubbles, because the evaporating gas is released and the bubble of carbon dioxide floats to the top. We also figured out why the dry ice in our freezer disappeared, it's because dry ice has a melting temperature of -109 degrees Fahrenheit and regular ice melts at  32 degrees.  That's a huge difference!  The kids had so much fun adding soap to the water and watching the dry ice make so many bubbles filled it smoky gas.  I'd say that fun little experiment was a success.  The biggest lesson I learned though didn't have anything to do with dry ice, it had to do with control.  I want to control all their experiments, crafts, and all of that, but it's when I let go and let them explore that the magic happens and they really learn.  It's been a lesson I've been trying to learn for a long time, but I'm getting it.

We got to go on two field trip this week.  The first was to finish off our middle ages unit and study of Gothic architecture.  I won't bore you with all the details, but a few pictures will brighten your day.  Isn't the Madeline cathedral gorgeous?  We accidentally went to the Salt Lake city building and we were all confused to see Romanesque architecture when we were told it was Gothic, then we figured out we were in the wrong place and went to the cathedral.  It was a good comparison.  On the way home we talked more about different types of architecture and pointed out the buildings that we  could identify.  The Salk Lake Temple looks very Gothic, but it is actually a mixture of Gothic form and Romanesque arches.  Fascinating!  Who knew you could tell so much about a building by it's arches?  I feel a joke coming on. By the way, Sugar is pronounced Su-jair with a soft j.  Glen though that was fun, Sugar was the man who first requested a building to be built in what came to be known as Gothic, this video was great for the kids. http://www.teachertube.com/video/romanesque-vs-gothic-architecture-103781  I thought they would find it boring, but they loved it.
Friday we went to a fire station for Elizabeth.  She was in heaven, that girl loves fire trucks more then either of the boys ever did! She had such a huge grin on her face when she was allowed to sit in the truck and pretend to drive, and her jaw dropped when the firefighters told her that there are pink firetrucks, just like hers.  I love to find the passions and dreams of my children and encourage them to follow their dreams.  Zoology, art, fire trucks, engineering.  These little kids have big dreams!

Quitting Facebook

Oh, my poor, sad, neglected blog.  It's been nearly a year and, what a year it has been.
I have been contemplating this post for about a weeks now.  You see, I quite facebook.  I thought I'd go back to it, like I always do, but now...I'm not sure.  I think I'll post for the benefit of grandma and the few people who truly care what our busy little lives are like each day.  Did you notice I used the word few?  I have nearly 300 Facebook "friends" but only a few that I would consider true friends.  Family? well, they are just stuck with me.  But those few friends who have chosen to stick with me, despite my odd quirks, out of date sense of fashion (by about 150 years) and obsession with my kids and homeschooling, those friends that I'd call in a bind and know they would be there, those friends are few and far between, in real life or on Facebook.
Facebook is fun, convenient, and makes keeping in contact easy, don't get me wrong, there are some serious benefits.  Lately though, I have been starting to feel like Facebook kind of cheapens relationships.  It makes it so easy to stay in contact, while not really staying in contact at all.  We just assume people will tell us what is going on and so we don't take the time to ask them how they are doing.  And of course there is that silly unwritten rule that you can only talk about good stuff on social media, so do we really know what's going on?  How many of my 300 "friends" know that since moving back to Utah my anxiety and depression have been the worst I have had to deal with in a good 10-15 years?  How many of them know that I'm worried Benjamin might have a sensory processing disorder, or that Abigail has decided she will only go to sleep if John is holding her? (thank goodness it isn't me)  None of them, because I can't put that on social media, it's kind of taboo.
Since quitting Facebook I have noticed that it had become my little drug, my way of hiding.  When I felt upset, bored, tired, sad, or anxious I'd go to Facebook, trying to distract myself.  Even if it had only been 5 minutes, that is where I went.  I had stopped turning to the scriptures for comfort, I had stopped turning to the Lord or to real people.  I had stopped dealing with the issue and instead tried to hide form it.  Now I turn to the scriptures for comfort, or to my spouse or friends.  Now I get down and play with my kids or read to them when I am bored, or maybe I even do a load of dishes.  I didn't realize how much time I wasted on Facebook.  I lived for me next comment, the next like on my posts, as if the whole world cared about what we do each day.
Maybe some day I'll go back, but if I do it won't be to hide like it has always been in the past.  I'll put a picture of my kids up now and then, tell about my lasted brilliant homeschool idea and if I ever become humble, John will let you know.  :)  For now I am content to go back to my blog, so you'll still get pictures and information about our edge of your seat exciting life, but I'll get to write a little more about it.  Once a week fits my style more right now anyway, I have enjoyed my family far too much over the last week to risk giving that up.