One of those days

Today has been one of those days. Not a good day, not a bad day, just one of those days. *sigh* I'm tired, but I'm not grumpy which is a plus. I've had a lot on my mind lately. Mostly what I have been thinking about is something I heard in church yesterday. One woman who was speaking said that our parents did the best they could with what they had. They didn't just wake up one morning and say, "I'm going to be the worst parent ever." Being a parent is hard and we all make mistakes. Some parents have more resources then others, more support, more time or money, more patience. Some parents are single parents, some are struggling with problems of their own while trying to raise their kids. But I believe that everyone does the best with what they have.

So don;t get down on yourself. If you're having a rough day just remember you are doing you best and you are wonderful. Parent is synonymous with sacrifice. No matter how much money, time, resources, support... etc. you have, parenting is a sacrifice and you are wonderful for doing it. I hope you feel as wonderful as I think you are.

Super heros

I read an article today about mom's who get depressed because they try to be super mom. The people who did the study suggest that moms stop trying to be super mom. I disagree for more then one reason. First, I think that as people, and especially as mothers, we need to constantly try to become better. I do not suggest stressing yourself out to have a perfectly clean house, gourmet meals, and happy perfect kids. But there is always something that I can to better. Today I baked cookies, but it was a new recipe and very time sensitive. My kids wanted me, but I couldn't play with them lest I ruin the cookies. It was stressful and I become impatient. Tomorrow I can be more patient and I think I will have then help me with the baking and cooking.

The second reason I disagree is because of my definition of a super mom. Super mom does not have a perfect house, her meals are not always healthy super meals, and sometimes her kids misbehave and are dirty. They even eat Popsicles and candy on occasion. But super mom's kids are happy. They know she loves them and she spends time with them. Super mom listens to her kids, she heals boo boos with a kiss, solves life's problems with a hug and kind word, and teaches her children what is most important. Love, respect, manners, and what is most important.

I have stopped cleaning to dance with my son, I have closed my eyes to the growing puddle on the floor to let my 2 year old learn to wash dishes. I have let 5 more minutes turn into 1 hour and a half at the park, one more chapter became 6. Snuggles in the morning turn into wrestling matches and tickle time. Weeds become flowers, and finger prints on a paper are masterpieces.

Being super mom isn't about the house or the meals, it isn't about your child being in honors or team captain. Being Super mom means love, it means children that feel important. It means memories and time.

Tell me how you, your wife, or your mom are super heroes.

Have faith

Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day. Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray. Faith is like little seed: if planted it will grow. Faith is a swelling within my heart.

In Ether 12:6 (book of Mormon) it teaches that you do not receive a witness until the trial of your faith. Currently my faith is being tried in many ways. Some are far more difficult then others. Feeling that the Lord wants me to rely on my own wisdom and knowledge to potty train my son is a trail of my faith. Staying at home instead of working is a trail of my faith. Raising my kids is a trail of my faith. Going to church, making friends, following promptings. Everyday there are trails that I must navigate. Often I do not know why, or what the out come will be. Many times I have heard faith referred to as a blind leap. In a way it is. It's like putting on a blind fold and following directions from someone you cannot see. You trust that they will not lead you into danger, you trust that they will protect you and give you the information you need to make it safely on the path. Right now though, the biggest trail of my faith is none of those things I listed. They are all in some way a trial of my faith, but not the big one. The big one right now, the one that causes fear and faith to battle constantly is our bank account. Because of some very unexpected and very large bills our account is very low, lower then it has ever been.

Every year when we get our tax return we spend some of it and put the rest into savings. We slowly eat away at it until the next year and repeat the process. Right now we are under $500. That means if the car has problems, we get really sick and need a doctor, really if anything happens we are in trouble. Hence the fear.

Here is where faith comes in. I just paid my tithing. I have always had a testimony of tithing. There have been some pretty remarkable miracles in my life that I attribute to paying tithing. I would never give a single thought to skipping it and putting the money elsewhere, it wouldn't do any good. I have been promised that if I pay tithing the windows of Heaven will be opened and blessing poured out upon my head. So many that I will not have room to receive them all. I believe this promise will be fulfilled. I do not see how things will work out. I wear a blind fold right now. I am listening to my Father's voice, I am following Him. I know he will lead me safely through and after the trial of my faith I will have an even stronger testimony of tithing and so much more.

I can see already that He is watching out for me. With summer coming to an end I am thinking about clothes for the kids. I did not know where the clothes would come from, we cannot afford them right now, there is no money for new clothes. I was starting to think of who I could ask for clothes. I was at a loss. Then today my friend and neighbor asked if I needed clothes. I could have cried. It was like she read my mind. I know it was not just her though, the Lord was working through her to answer my prayer and bless me and my family. That is what happens when you have faith. the Lord answers. Some times it is hard to have faith, but I am doing my best, and I know the Lord will do the rest.