I took my kids to get a flu shot, Glen was 4 and Benjamin was 3, I was pregnant at the time. By the time we got home from the clinic Benjamin was screaming, "He must be tired, it's nap time." I got him out of the car and he wouldn't walk. He wouldn't even put pressure on his legs so I carried him inside. When we got in I checked his leg and it was swollen, red, hot, and so very sore. We rushed back to the Dr. When I told them what was going on this was the response "Oh, he's allergic to eggs? Ok, that can happen." Wait, there's eggs in a flu shot? I looked up what else in in the flu shot. Cow protein, another allergy, milk protein, another HUGE allergy, the list went on, each ingredient more horrifying then the next. He was allergic to so many of them and some were just plain poison! Why was there mercury in it!? Long story short, I stopped getting the flu shot for anyone in my family. I never wanted that to happen again. The more I researched the more convinced I was that vaccines were not safe, so we stopped getting them all together. Years later I found out that I have a family history of adverse reactions, some genetic marker, that makes them more dangerous for us then for most people. Definitely not getting any more vaccines.
And then March 2020. Covid. Everything shut down. People were afraid to leave their houses. Two people in my family have respiratory issues, that makes it even scarier for us so we were careful, but I refuse to live in a bubble. When the vaccine was announced I had no intention of getting it. It's a vaccine and they are dangerous for my family. "But this one is different." It doesn't matter. I'm not doing it. I didn't even entertain the thought...until the Prophet asked us to get vaccinated and wear a mask. It's been on my mind for months. Now that everyone in my family can get one...I'm not sure I can put into words the internal struggle I have had. The inner turmoil of this decision, it's been one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make. The fear, what if...We've all heard the stories. "It will make you sterile." "Think of the people that died." "It protects you the first time you get sick, but the second time you will die." "The government is trying to figure out who they can control, this is a test to see who will obey so they know who will die when they make a more deadly virus and release it." Maybe you haven't heard all that, but I have. The truth is that even if non of that is true, this is still so new, there could be so many unintended consequences. Am I willing to risk my family for an experiment? I have spent months and months pouring my heart and my fears out to God, asking for direction. That's what the prophet asked, he said to council with your doctor and pray about it. So I did. Again and again. But when it really came down to it I had to make the choice. Faith or fear?
I know God loves me, He KNOWS ME, down to every strand of DNA. He knows me now and he knows future me. I know that the prophet speaks the word of God. I don't believe for a minute that he asked us to vaccinate and mask up because he's listening to the government. I don't believe for a fraction of a second that he is part of the new world order. I don't believe God would ask his children, through his prophet, to get vaccinated if it would hurt, sterilize, or kill us. I don't believe he would ask us to wear masks if they hurt us or didn't work. But he is. The prophet of God is asking us to get vaccinated against covid, he is asking us to wear masks. No it's not a commandment. He didn't say "Thus saith God, ye must repent and also get vaccinated and wear a mask." You can call it a suggestion, but a suggestion from God? I'll follow that.
I choose to have faith. I choose to ignore my fears. I choose to listen to the prophet of God over the voice of the world and the voice of facebook. I will listen to the prophet over my own thoughts and ideas because "personal revelation" doesn't always come from the right source. I've been led astray, following what I thought was personal revelation, only to find out it was the wrong voice I listened to. Sometimes it's hard to hear what God is saying because I've already decided what I want Him to say. But I know the prophet will never lead me astray. I know I can trust him. I know I can trust God and he speaks the words of God.
I have surrendered my will to God. It's not a failure, it's a victory! A glorious victory!
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