Home schooling

 Home school has been on my mind lately, understandably since school starts soon.  We started home schooling about Christmas time last year.  I felt like I shouldn't send Glen back and I withdrew him.  I sort of plunged right in, a trial by fire, you might say.  I was in way over my head.  The best of intentions don't go far without a plan and I didn't really have one.  We did our best and ended up joining K-12, an online public school that he did at home most days.  It worked well for us at the time, but as the start of a new school year loomed closer and closer I felt like we shouldn't go back.  k-12 is a great program, but it was just a stepping stone, more like a life preserver. :)  We are trying something different this year.  Latter Day learning.  I'm excited for it for so many reasons, it incorporates gospel teaching into each lesson, the reading list is amazing, and the lessons are so classic.  I mean, history starts with the premortal council in heaven, music and art include such classics as Bach and the Baroque period.
 You see, to me learning is more then just math, reading, science and history.  Learning needs to be about life.  Why sit and read about bugs when you can catch them and study them?  Why read about plants when you can plant a bean seed in a clear cup and watch the root system spread and grow, just days after planting it?  Learning is about life skills.  I wanted to teach my children about God, about working together as a family, patriotism, sewing and cooking, how to clean well, and how to have a good attitude.  It's not about worksheets, and text books, those are important and can be good and even fun, but that's not where it ends.  I wanted my kids to be able to start out learning about volcanoes and let it evolve into a science experiment, sharing a good book together, and maybe it turns into something totally different, like cleaning the toilet with a pumice stone.  Did you make that connection?  Brownie points if you did.  :) I wanted to expose my kids to as many things as I could and then let them find their passion and run with it!  I wanted to encourage curiosity, problem solving skills, free time, and thinking outside the box.  Did you know my son got in trouble in school for asking too many questions?  I did too as a kid.

 Lest you think I disparage teachers, I have the highest respect and admiration of teachers.  They have a tough job and for the most part they really shine.  They work long hard hours, many of those hours unpaid, to give their class the best education they can.  They go to training and find video on youtube to try and make learning more fun.  They work HARD!  But they have 20-30 kids to teach.  It's hard to take the time to listen to each child, to encourage creativity and let kids learn in their own way and at their own pace when there are so many.  Here at home I only have 3 right now, four next year, and I have two "student" teachers because the big kids help the little kids.  I'm not going to say it's my job to teach them because all moms should home school, but I am going to say that it is *my* job to teach *my* kids.  I feel like Heavenly Father wants this for my family, and I am so eager to enjoy this adventure with my children.

I'm already there

 I remember as a teenager in counseling reading affirmation cards.  I thought they were the lamest thing ever, but some of them have stuck with me through the years.  One of them said "The bad times may outnumber the good, but the good outweighs the bad."
Today as we all sat singing songs to the girls before bed I thought to myself "You cannot have quality time without quantity time."  We were having a quality moment.  Another one happened today when an attempt to wash the mud off of Elizabeth's foot turned into all of the kids running through this mud puddle until they were all soaked and covered in muddy water.  And every single one of them was smiling and laughing about it, I was too.
I get down on myself because of the amount of time I spend sitting at the computer staring blankly at the screen because I am too exhausted to move and I just need a minute to zone out.  I kick myself because I can't decide whether I should do the dishes or read the kids a book and then feel guilty that the dishes win out despite the fact that we really do need to have clean dishes to eat on.  I focus so much on the scraped elbow and tired boy and maybe it was too long of a walk that I fail to remember that we just spent an hour together having fun.  The hassle of getting the kids to come inside for dinner often over shadows the soccer game we just played.
What was it I thought earlier tonight?  "You can't have quality time without quantity time."  The fact that I can list off quite a few times when we spent quality time together tells me that I am doing a good job.  I am doing enough for and with my kids.   Now if I can just remember that.  I am committing to remember.  I am going to stop being so hard on myself and refocus on all the good that I do.  I am going to stop being so busy trying to be a good mom that I forget I already am a good mom.

One year

It has been a little over a year since we moved away from all of our family and friends and set out on a new adventure together.  In that year we have had some of the worst days of our lives and some of the sweetest days as well.  We added a beautiful baby girl to our family, we made new friends, tried new foods, and grew as a family.
I can't believe it has been a year.  Time has just sped by.  It seems like the harder I try to hold on to every moment and enjoy the here and now the faster it goes.  I find that I can't hold on and more then I can hold back.  As I watch my baby, my last baby grow up I want so much to keep her just how she is.  I find myself wanting to push her back down on her bum when she stands up to walk, but I just can't hold her back and end up encouraging her and cheering her on instead.  As it should be.
Over the last year I have learned so much, I cannot even begin to list off everything I have learned.  I have learned to let go of the little things that are unimportant so that I can cherish what is.  I have learned to be less of a stickler about bedtime and cuddle more.  I have learned to hold onto my babies because soon enough they are going to pull away and run off on their own.  I have finally learned to make the mundane divine as I work backstage to keep the house running, the kids happy and fed, and be everyone's personal cheerleader.  I have learned to be less selfish so that I have more of myself to give.  I learned that I didn't move out here to save the world, I moved out her so God could save my world, my family.  I have learned to dance in the rain, figuratively and literally, and I have learned that when storms come the safest thing to do is to hold onto my family for dear life!
Speaking of being less selfish, this post was supposed to be about Abigail.  My baby girl is one today!  Can you believe it?  We have been her for that long.  This girl is my joy!  She is my bonnie blue eyed baby.  I prayed that she would keep her blue eyes since non of the other kids did and it was a tender mercy from the Lord that she did.  She is always smiling and giggling.  Abigail was my "drive across the country having contraction to get to a new place" baby.  :)  Everyone said I would give birth on the way, but she held on and had perfect timing!  It was miracle after miracle the way she got her and when she got here.  Abigail had brought me joy during some seriously dark days as I struggled with depression and anxiety again after moving here, but her smile was like a ray of sunshine.  Every time I saw her smile shining through the darkness I felt like Heavenly Father was telling me he loved me and everything would be ok. She has brought me so much joy and I look forward to sharing many smiles with her.

You are who you are, not who I am

I've noticed something that my husband does, something that the men of the church in general seem to do and I think it's wrong!  "I have so far to go to get where my wife is." "Women are just so much more spiritual then men are."
Does anyone else see that Satan teaches us to compare ourselves to others?  I know my husband says this in a effort to make me feel good, but I end up feeling sad and I bet it is discouraging for him to think I'm "So far ahead of him."  Last night I finally told him to stop, it wasn't true and I didn't want him to say it any more.  "But you are, you are so compassionate and kind, loving and patient, it comes easy for you.  I have so far to go!"  So I asked him if Benjamin is better then Glen because he has an easier time doing math.  "No." We do not compare our children to each other and I don't think Heavenly Father wants us to compare ourselves to each other either.  I am compassionate, patient and loving, those things *do* all come easily to me. Maybe it is like the joy in Heaven over one repentant sinner more then the 99 who do not need to repent. (Luke 15:7) Just maybe Heavenly Father is more proud of John for all of his hard work to be patient and kind, to show love even when it's hard, then he is of me for the same thing because it comes easily for me.  I do not know the mind of God, but I do know that Heavenly Father loves all of us for who we are and He does not compare us, so we should not compare ourselves.

Quiet peaceful moments

Two summers ago my family and I took our very first real family vacation.  We packed up and drove down to southern Utah to spend a week playing in the mountains.  Our fist stop was Panguitch to introduce John to a small town.  He was blown away when I said the tour would be 5 minutes long and then floored to find out it really was that fast. We camped about an hour away and it was a pretty rough night.  Elizabeth did not like the idea of sleeping in a hot tent, she wanted her bed and let us both know it.  John gave up on sleeping around 5:00 am. I was ready to roll over and go back to sleep too, but I thought it would be nice to watch the sun rise together.  We got some warm clothes on and built a fire, then we sat down together and just talked, enjoying each other's company. It was nice.  Really nice.  I watched the mountains, ready for brilliant colors and breathtaking beauty.  I waited for hours to see the sunrise and it never came.  The sun came up and slowly the world around me filled with light, but there was no brilliant, colorful, breathtaking moment.
Fast forward two years later to our second family vacation.  This time we packed up the car and drove out to Nauvoo.  I have a thing for small towns.  I have heard for years that going Carthage Jail is a powerful spiritual experience.  I have heard countless stories about people who have gone for the first time and been moved to tears as soon as the walk into the jail.  I wanted that so I really looked forward to going to Carthage Jail.  We got there and knowing how important this stop was to me John took the kids and let me have time without any distractions.  I was so ready.  I walked in and I waited.  Nothing.  I sat down disappointed.  Why didn't I get a powerful spiritual confirmation?  Why didn't I feel a single thing?  As I searched my feeling I realized there was something there, but it was not powerful or brilliant.  It was small, it was sweet, and it was easy to miss unless I looked for it.
My life has been like the sunrise over the mountains and like walking into that little jail room.  My life has not had any brilliant flashes of knowledge, there has never been a powerful confirmation of my faith.  But just like the sunrise, my life slowly filled with light until I could see clearly.  Just like that jail cell, when I take a look at me feelings I a have a very sweet sense of peace and feel the love of my Father in Heaven.
I wanted to share this because I think too often we think we need a powerful, brilliant experience to confirm our faith.  It is not so.  Experiences like that are rare.  Most people have a sunrise experience where you cannot put your finger on the exact time you knew for sure the gospel was true, but the light of Christ has filled your life and helped you to see clearly.  Do not discount your feelings and experiences because they are not brilliant, sudden, powerful moments.  Your quiet peaceful confirmations are powerful in their own way, just like the tide, or a gentle rain.  They are real, and they are beautiful.

Unschooling

Unschooling is the idea that kids are naturally curious and desire to learn.  If left to their own devices kids will naturally pursue their interests and learn, they don't have to be forced to learn.  I wholeheartedly believe this.  I have seen such a natural curiosity and desire to learn in my own children and in myself that when we decided to homeschool I felt like unschooling was the way to go for us.
To give you an idea of how it works I'll tell you a little bit about a few of our days.  Not every  day is like this, some days we do tons and some days we don't.  Some days we spend all day reading book and learn from the books, some days we spend all day at a filed trip, some days we spend all day cleaning because we are still earning to balance housework and learning.  Even that is a learning experience!
These are a few entries from my homeschool journal;
January 9, 2015
"Today we talked about engineering.  We drew detailed depictions of a house, then we built a replica with wooden blocks, and last we used a game called Minecraft to build the house.  We talked about area, that led to a math dicscussion about how to find area and the area of different shapes.  We talked about different types of building material and also terrain.  Where would you want a house to be built.  Glen wanted his on top of a mountain, Benjamin wanted his in a desert, and I wanted mine in a forest.  We also talked about how to build a strong house and how to defend it if necessary.
For PE we built an obstacle course and ran, jumped, ducked, and weaved in and out of the obstacles.  We did this in the morning and then again in the afternoon.
Glen is really interested in animals, especially birds so I found a man who runs a bird rescue who is going to have Glen be his apprentice.  I will have to go with him until he is older, but it will be such a great opportunity to learn how to care for birds.
For science we talked about animals and how scientists classify them using characteristics such as  size, color, and other features.  We sorts beans and lintels and talked about how to classify and identify beans and lentils and other foods."
January 16, 2015
"Today for reading Glen read to me out of his poetry binder and an almanac.  Benjamin also read to Elizabeth and Glen.  We read some poetry by Emily Dickinson and discussed the differences between Emily Dickinson and Shel Silverstien.  Language, humor, and rhyming.
For science we explored our senses and had tons of fun.  We tried different textures, sights, sounds, foods, and smells.  We also watched a documentary about an Allosourus and talked about animals that are like them.
For PE we practiced ninja skills, running, jumping, and balance.  We made puffy paint for art, and also baked cookies, let's call that home economics.  :)  We also talked about chemistry and how salt effects the chemical reaction in baking."
January 19, 2015
"Today was Martin Luther King Jr. day and we talked about slavery, segregation, MLK Jr. and civil rights.
We went to the zoo and learned more about our favorite animals.
We talked about DNA and watched  a little movie clip to learn more about DNA."
January 20, 2015
We did more work with 2 times tables. Glen has almost gotten all of them down and Benjamin is finally beginning to understand it too!
We talked more about DNA. We watched another  short clip and drew our own animals, real or imaginary.  We talked about their traits, habitat, predators, prey, if they were nocturnal or not, and what would make the ideal animal.  We talked about Darwin, who he was, what he believed about evolution and survival of the fittest.  We talked about how the Lord created the Earth and also us.
That led to a talk about what would happen if the Lord had not created any carnivorous animals.  We talked about how everything has to be balanced.  We watched that short clip about the wolves effecting the river in Yellow Stone National park and that led to a discussion about plant life, soil and erosion.
We watched a science clip about different gases and their density and that led to a discussion about water and what makes things float and the density of diverse objects.
Glen conducted a science experiment to find out what makes baking soda fizz when we set off our volcanoes.  He filled a bowl with water and then added baking soda.  Nothing.  He decided it must be the food coloring that makes the fiz so he added some of that.  Nothing.  I asked him if he wanted to try some other things.  Vinegar made it fiz.  We talked about the acidity level of different things.  He tried lemon juice for some fiz, and soy sauce and oil for no fiz.  The oil floated to the top which led to another discussion about the density of liquids and gasses."
 All of that today happened before lunch.  It happened naturally. I made suggestion and if they were taken we did it, if not I let it go.  Most of it they did on their own, like the science experiment by Glen.  This is just who we are, we are students of life.
When I first started to homeschool I kind of felt panicked and guilty.  How would my kids ever learn anything without the classroom and teacher?  Then I reminded myself that I taught my kids just fine before they entered school.  Glen was reading at a 3-4th grade level, knew addition, subtraction ,fractions, and the concept of positive and negative numbers.  He knew TONS about animals and geography.  My kids want to learn and I want to facilitate that learning.  My job isn't to force then to learn, it's just to provide the opportunity to learn in an environment where it is encouraged.  Glen told me a few days after we started homeschooling that he got in trouble in school for asking too many questions.  I told him to ask as many as he wanted and to talk as much as he wants and from then on he took off!
Some days are discouraging and I feel anxious.  I'm still inexperienced and trying to figure it all out, but I think it will be ok.  We are too full of the love of learning to stop now.  All of that learning happens without forcing it.  I think every now and then I will need to use a little more guidance then others, but I see that the Lord was right all along.  I don;t have anything to worry about when I do what he wants.  He knows just what my family needs.

Perfect day

Today was such a perfect day!  I found out it was free day at the zoo so we cancelled our plans for the children's museum and headed off to the zoo instead.  The weather was just perfect, it must have been 50!  The animals were all so friendly, many of them came right up to the edges of their cages so everyone could get a good look.  The boys were just thrilled and Elizabeth was in awe by all the animals.  Our favorites were the orangutans, cheetah, and the dolphins, the under water dome was AMAZING!   One orangutan was a total ham and hung out right in front of the crowd posing.  In the ocean exhibit we got to pet dog sharks and one was so friendly he kept raising his head out of the water and getting right up under our hands, even Elizabeth got to pet him. The dolphins were really active and swan around us in circles, they swam right in front of us again and again and the penguins did the same.  The cheetah paced back and forth right in front of us too.  I have to hand it to the Indianapolis zoo, they make it so you can get up close and personal with the animals!

After we got home we had a quick dinner and then family home evening. Benjamin chose the game and we ended up with a jousting tournament.  John and I were the horses and the boys climbed on our back with padded light sabers (we were fresh out of jousting sticks)  It was a lot of fun for the boys to try and knock the other off as we ran at each other from across the room.  Elizabeth got in on the fun and trounced the boys with a little help from her trusty mare.  It left us all rolling in laughter on the ground.  We all had so much fun we know it will make a return visit.

All in all today was pretty much a perfect day, even if I do still have  a mountain of laundry to fold tomorrow. :)

Chicago temple

 Saturday we went to the Chicago temple, it's a little further then the Kentucky temple, but I wanted to make the trip to add a stamp to my passport.  I have 10 now!  It was BEAUTIFUL!  I envy my brother who served his mission there.  The ladies were so friendly and after I finished with initiatory they found me a dress so I could go sit in the celestial room.  The feeling of peace was so overwhelming.  When it came time to change and go I didn't want to leave!  I started to tear up at the thought of leaving, but John wanted his turn and I needed to go get the kids for that.
It turns out Chicago and Fishers are in different time zones and with the confusion John was an hour late, that NEVER HAPPENS!  Since I had time to kill and can't stand sitting with nothing to do I went over to the distribution center and volunteered to help out.  I had fun chatting with the sisters there while I steamed dresses for them.

After John got there we traded off and i took the boys in to see the small part of the temple they are allowed to see right now.  They loved it and when I told them about the Indiana temple being complete soon and that they can see the whole thing, even the marriage room they got so excited! Next, the kids and I headed to the library.  The Glenview library is less then 10 minutes from the temple and it is HUGE!  When we drove up and saw how big it was this is what was heard in the car, Me: "It's so big!" Benjamin "It has a parking garage!" Glen "So many books!"  It was truly amazing, the best library I have ever been to.  They have these fake trees that looked so real and there were shelves of games that you could check out and take home.  We didn't have a card, nor could we return things by the time they were due, but that was ok because they had more.  There were computers with kindergarten learning games,  tables of puzzles, Duplo Legos, games, and even a fire house/doll house.  The kids had so much fun there, we didn't want to leave!  There was also a play ground right outside the library that was awesome and we could see a train stop with a lot of trains passing through.
Again with the time difference I was an hour late picking John up because I got really confused.  We all agreed that it was the best temple trip we have had and we want to go back!

Homeschooling

 Every day is an adventure here.  I never know what life will bring from one day to the next.  Some days have been so hard I'd like to crawl in a hole and live there forever, or run home crying to mom, other days I have been so happy that I never want to leave.  Today fits in the latter category.

Since before Glen started school I have wanted to home school.  In Utah I met with a lot of opposition from most people.  The only ones who liked the idea were my two friends who also wanted to home school.  After having a terrible kindergarten experience in Utah I was so ready to pull Glen out and homes school him, but I didn't know how nor did I feel capable when I had a baby, was pregnant and my husband was gone.  So poor Glen suffered the school, common core, and an impatient teacher who refused to see how intelligent he was.  After moving here his old school had so soured me that his new teacher totally floored me when she immediately saw how far ahead Glen was and was more then willing to work with him and get him work and books to challenge him.  I felt unbelievably lucky that Glen had such a great teacher.  Can you imagine how happy we were when we found that his first grade teacher was the same?  What in incredible school we had found.  I still wanted to home school him though, it just felt right. Finally I decided, as part of anew years resolution, that I wanted to home school by next school year.
I won't go into the details as to why, or how I'm doing it, that's for a latter post, I want to focus on the reaction of the people around me.  As I said earlier, in Utah the reaction was consistently negative, skeptical, or even hostile.  Here, I have not had a single negative reaction.  My neighbor found out and said it was great that I could do that, the school offered not a single negative comment.  and everyone I talked to showed support and shared resources and insight with me. It was great. Today we went to pick up Glen's school things and every teacher we met was friendly and enthusiastic to Glen and even to me.  Not that I'm pretending to like you because I should be nice, but real genuine kindness.  Better yet, they offered encouragement and support.  No one asked me if I was sure it was a good idea, or anything like that. They all said, you can do this, what a great hing your doing, we hope you come to visit we'll miss you Glen.  Amazing.
Every day is an adventure and today's adventure was a sunny day full of heroes and heroins.