Some days I feel so rushed and so frazzled. It's not easy being a mom. I get to spend my days cleaning, taking care of kids, changing diapers, running errands, making meals and snacks, and then clean some more. Kids get grumpy, mommy gets grumpy, and some days are tough. But at the end of each day I am grateful for my choice to me a mother. I have never regretted it, and I wouldn't change a thing. I love my children and I am so grateful for them.
This past week has been a tough one. The kids have had a cold and so they aren't sleeping well, which means I am not sleeping well. (Though better then I normally would since my husband has been home on Spring break and helps out so much.) And yesterday I just lost it. I was impatient with everyone, I was mean and grumpy, and try as I might I couldn't change it. Then we went to the store to do the grocery shopping and Glen hit Benjamin and I was mad. Instead of my usual "Now sweety, you need to be nice with your hands," I flicked him in the mouth. Not to bad, but shocking enough that I took a step back reeling. I had just said some really mean things to my husband and now I was being mean to my kids, I had to stop. So I knelt down right there in the store and we prayed. Glen and I both took a turn asking Heavenly Father to help Mommy be nice.
I have always felt that my kids should see my mistakes and I should apologize for them. I am not perfect, and I don't want them thinking I am. So I explained to them both that I was having a hard day, I was letting Satan tell me what to do and I was being mean. I am learning just like they are and I am sorry that I was mean, could they please forgive me? 
I worked hard to get the Spirit back and went to the temple that night. The peace that filled me there is what I needed, it had been too long. I am so grateful for the atonement and the opportunity it gives me to repent and be forgiven. I feel a great responsibility. I have been given children to teach, and learn from. I want to be a better person so that I can help them be better and learn to walk uprightly before the Lord. In this adventure and journey of motherhood and life, I and the children are learning together. We are teaching each other, learning form each other, and growing together. And I think that is how Heavenly Father wanted it to be.
During the course of the day, we keep a prayer in our heart for continued assistance and guidance—even as Alma suggested: “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord” (Alma 37:36).
ReplyDeleteWe notice during this particular day that there are occasions where normally we would have a tendency to speak harshly, and we do not; or we might be inclined to anger, but we are not. We discern heavenly help and strength and humbly recognize answers to our prayer. Even in that moment of recognition, we offer a silent prayer of gratitude.
At the end of our day, we kneel again and report back to our Father. We review the events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the help we received. We repent and, with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord, identify ways we can do and become better tomorrow. Thus our evening prayer builds upon and is a continuation of our morning prayer. And our evening prayer also is a preparation for meaningful morning prayer. -Elder Bednar
Thank you Jennifer. I remember hearing this talk and loving it, how quick i was to forget. Thank you for the reminder.
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