I Was listening to day to a song called "If I only had today" by Hilary Weeks. It got me thinking about bucket lists, you know the list some people make of things they want to do before they die? I was thinking, "What would be on my bucket list?" If I found out I only had a little while to live, what would I do? I wouldn't go sky diving, or climb a mountain, I wouldn't go bungee jumping off some big bridge. If I only had a week to live I would...Take my kids to the library for hours and read them EVERY book they brought me. I would sing songs until my throat hurt then keep singing. I would have my kids sleep in bed with us so I could cuddle with everyone, but I wouldn't sleep, I would stay awake watching them and thinking how much I love them. I would wrestle, even if I got hurt. I would hold hands more, jump in mud puddles, pay attention to the ants and bug. I'd stop saying "Just a second" and do it now. I would write a letter to everyone in my family telling them how much I love them and reminding them we have eternity together. I would cherish every memory, every smile, every hug. I would cuddle more, and be patient.
I try so hard to live every day like this, but it's hard sometimes to remember. I listen to the song every day if I can, to help remind me how precious time is. Even if I have 60 more years to live my kids won't be little forever, this phase is going to fly by. I want to hold on. I wish I could hold onto every sweet memory we make together.
This is probably not the best time for such sentimental thoughts. Every time I hear that song I cry. I want to just go hug my husband and kids. And even though it scares me, thinking it might end, I am grateful for the reminder to make every minute count. To make sure my family knows how much I love and cherish them. To take the time for what is really important. I want to live my bucket list every day.