Rhythm

By the end of the day I will know how to spell rhythm, it's kind a of a weird word.

        It was a rough winter.  We all get sick a lot, which is really abnormal for us.  About a month ago I got sick again.  I don't know what it was, but it made my head hurt so bad I could hardly see, I was really knocked down.  It took me a week after that to recover, every time I did so much as get up to get a drink my head started hurting all over again. I was seriously starting to think I would never get better, but I did.  And then depression and anxiety reared it's ugly head.  I just couldn't catch a break and I was very stressed and overwhelmed.  We had just taken a week break from school when I got sick and had to kind of take another break.  One week turned into three and I still felt like I couldn't keep my head above water.  I finally felt like I just needed to get back to our daily routine. 
        The difference was amazing!  The constant battle over everything from chores to bedtime disappeared.  Even when I had a hard day it was easier because I knew what to expect and so did the kids.  I never wanted a schedule, I never wanted to be tied down to a specific set of events each day.  I wanted to be free and do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted to.  I see now that a rhythm and routine are so necessary for us.  We thrive when we have a routine. 
        It makes it very clear to me that true freedom does not come from lack of responsibilities or commitments, true freedom comes from knowing what those responsibilities and commitments are so they can be filled.  Keeping the commandments of God does not take away our freedom, it shows us clearly what path we need to walk to have freedom and to thrive in this life.  I'm not lost or confused, I'm also not following blindly.  I WANT to walk this path, I WANT to keep the commandments because I like knowing what to expect, I like feeling safe and I like knowing what I need to do each day.  I find joy in the rhythm of the gospel and the rhythm of my life.