As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety I sometimes struggle when we have those lessons in church, you know the ones about faith and fear and they can't coexist. It always bothers me because as someone who lives in fear daily they seem to be saying I just don't have enough faith. I have actually been told by people, by a bishop even, that I wouldn't have anxiety if I would just have faith, I wouldn't be afraid anymore, or depressed, I just needed to have more faith in Christ. Now, I know myself pretty well. I know where I am struggling spiritually and where I need to work, but faith, well, I say I'm doing pretty good in the faith department. I know Jesus Christ is my savior and Redeemer, more then that, I FEEL it. Yet my anxiety remains. Some days are so bad that I can hardly function.
Well I'm here to tell you that you
can have faith and fear.
At the same time. I experienced it today, and it made me think of all the times that I have had a similar experience. I have had really rough couple of days as far as depression and anxiety go. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'm going down from a really high roller coaster, you know that tight feeling? My muscles tense, ready to run, I can feel it in my whole body. My mind gets a little foggy, it's hard to think of anything except the worry and the fear. I start to pull into myself. And then I pray and I feel peace. Oddly enough it don't take away the fear, it's still there. I still feel tense and my stomach hurts and my head hurts, but there
is peace. How can I feel them both? I won't question it, I'll be grateful for it because even though faith and fear are not supposed to be able to exist at the same time, somehow, fear and peace do. They don't struggle and fight each other, they exist together and somehow I make it through the day and hopefully tomorrow is a little brighter.
As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety I sometimes struggle when we have those lessons in church, you know the ones about faith and fear and they can't coexist. It always bothers me because as someone who lives in fear daily they seem to be saying I just don't have enough faith. I have actually been told by people, by a bishop even, that I wouldn't have anxiety if I would just have faith, I wouldn't be afraid anymore, or depressed, I just needed to have more faith in Christ. Now, I know myself pretty well. I know where I am struggling spiritually and where I need to work, but faith, well, I say I'm doing pretty good in the faith department. I know Jesus Christ is my savior and Redeemer, more then that, I FEEL it. Yet my anxiety remains. Some days are so bad that I can hardly function.
Well I'm here to tell you that you can have faith and fear. At the same time. I experienced it today, and it made me think of all the times that I have had a similar experience. I have had really rough couple of days as far as depression and anxiety go. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'm going down from a really high roller coaster, you know that tight feeling? My muscles tense, ready to run, I can feel it in my whole body. My mind gets a little foggy, it's hard to think of anything except the worry and the fear. I start to pull into myself. And then I pray and I feel peace. Oddly enough it don't take away the fear, it's still there. I still feel tense and my stomach hurts and my head hurts, but there is peace. How can I feel them both? I won't question it, I'll be grateful for it because even though faith and fear are not supposed to be able to exist at the same time, somehow, fear and peace do. They don't struggle and fight each other, they exist together and somehow I make it through the day and hopefully tomorrow is a little brighter.
I love reading your thoughts on life. I have siblings and a child who have been struggling with anxiety and depression and reading this gives me insight and hope. You are amazing!
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