Don't blink

How could I have missed that my sweet baby boy is no longer a baby? This morning Glen was playing and told Benjamin he was the fire nation and Benjamin said "No, I the baby." Less then an hour later my baby had transformed into a big boy. How did I miss that? I was looking at him and I thought, wow, he sure has grown up. So I told him I love him and he said "Love you." and blew me a kiss. When did this happen?

It's kind of sad to see them grow up so fast, but at the same time it's a happy thing. I see how he grows and progresses, how smart he is, and how much he learns every day. How can I not be happy for that. But I miss the baby he was. I miss...I suppose it's not the baby I miss. As a baby he was so sick all the time and so miserable. I would not want to send him back to that. It's not the cuddles I miss because he is still a very cuddly boy never afraid to sit and hug me, give kisses,, and then wrestle me to the ground. I guess what makes me sad is knowing that as he grows up he needs me less. Right now I am his whole world, his everything, but some day i wont be. I know he will grow up and make friends, start dating and eventually have a family of his own.

OK, I know his isn't even two yet, but I connect the dots, it's how I am. I am missing him already. But somehow connecting the dots is good. Knowing what will happen and how much I will miss him when he grows up helps me to cherish the time I have with him now. It helps me put away the book I am reading to get down on the floor and play cars. It helps me be patient through the tantrums knowing there is a hug ion the other side of the storm. It helps me hold him closer, hug tighter, give more kisses and cuddles, and show more love. I just want to scoop him up on my arms, spin him around and squeeze him until he squeaks and giggles. In fact, I think I will go do that right now.

We're not so different after all

On more then one occasion I have had the feeling that friends not of my faith are waiting for me to ask them to leave my home or say I won't be their friend because we are different religions. Let me tell you that's not how it works. I am your friend because I love you. I'm not the kind of person to make a friend, hoping to convert them and then losing interest when they say they wont be baptized. If I seem overly exuberant about my faith, it's because I am. I am like that with things I have a passion for; children, books, words, and my faith. Being a Latter Day Saint is a central part of my life, it defines who I am. I talk about my church and beliefs because they are important to me and I do want to share them. But I also believe that everyone can choose for themselves and I will never try to push my beliefs onto you or think any worse of you for being different.

We can still get along, we can still be friends, and we can still respect each other. Differences are to be celebrated, not feared.

The Testaments

I just finished watching The Testaments, one of my favorite movies about the life of Christ. I never cease to be moved to tears during the movie, especially at the end when Christ appears to the people in America; heals, teaches, and blesses them. As I watched the movie this time I prayed silently, hoping to be there when Christ comes again. I watch and wait for Him.

I know sometimes it is hard to believe in Christ, there is so much wickedness in the world, so many bad things that happen and often people wonder where God is in all this. I assure you He is there! God loves us, He is our Father and He will answer your prayers. I know that Christ came to earth, that He lived and died for us. I feel it. Sometimes when I teach children about faith and about believing in things they cannot see I talk about the wind.

We cannot see the wind, but we can feel it and we can see the effect of the wind in the trees. So too, can I can feel God and His love, I can see the way He effects me and those around me. But my feeling is so much stronger then the wind, and longer lasting as well. When I feel the Love of the Lord it fills me up, it moves me. I never feel more loved then when I feel the love of my Father in heaven. Words fail me, nothing can describe such a feeling.

If you have access to this movie, or can get access, I urge you to watch it. Allow yourself to feel the Love of your Father. he does indeed love you very much. Pray, He will answer

you, I promise.