Living a dream

Since I was a small girl one of my dreams has been to write a book.  As I have gotten older that desire has only become greater.  I kind of gave up though.  See, I'm not very good at details or monologues and a story is no good without both.  I have tried writing stories and books many times and each time I have been so dissatisfied I could not continue.
Well, last night I read an article in the news about a mother of a special needs child who hated to be told she was wonderful because she just didn't feel wonderful.  I thought that's about what every mom feels like.  I have yet to meet a mother who feels as truly wonderful as they are.  I spent the next hour or so having a conversation with this woman and my husband in my head.  I told them how I have come to be able to see myself with more love and patience because I try to see myself as God sees me.  To Him, I am wonderful because He made me and I am His.  He loves me, not because I am perfect, but because I am trying so hard.  To Him, I am wonderful and so when I get a compliment I can see myself as he sees me and know that I really am pretty great.
At the end of this long conversation I knelt down to say my prayers and told Heavenly Father that I had never asked for this desire out loud before because I never felt qualified, but I really want to be an inspirational speaker.  I told him I knew he had given me gifts to encourage and inspire people and I wanted to use those gifts.  Then the thought came to write a book.  What a great idea!  In a non fiction book I don't need to worry about tons of details and making up conversations that seem real.  In this book I could just share my thoughts and let the spirit guide me and it would work.
So here I go, I'm starting a new journey.  I don't know how it will end up, maybe nothing will happen, maybe something really good will happen.  I know that wherever the Lord leads me I will go and I will do.  It will be a great experience and I am sure I will grow immensely.  And maybe, just maybe along the way I'll get my hearts desire and find someone to encourage and inspire,  maybe I can help them see themselves as the Lord sees them and they will see how amazing they are!

Priorities

I have had the flu this week, the last three days I spent layed out on the couch pretty much all day.  One of those days I didn't ask for help putting my kids to bed and it went kind of like this:  Time to brush your teeth. No, brush, not suck, not chew, here, let me do it for you.  Ok, now time to pray, kneel down.  No kneel, not lay, stop playing with your sister and pray, never mind.  Let's read scriptures.  Bring me your scriptures please.  Pick a verse.  No, not in the index, here.  21, k, lets start, come sit back down.  Stop laying on your sister, put down the toy.  I was starting to feel like yelling so I said never mind to that too and just told them to get into bed and they could read until I came in to tuck them in at 8 like I usually do.  That night I was feeling guilty for not helping Benjamin read scriptures or pray.  Glen had done it on his own, but Benjamin still needs help.  Then I thought that while it is important for my kids to learn to read and pray each night, they also need to learn that mommy loves them and is kind.  I'd rather have them skip everything and go straight to bed at times them to have me turn into a screaming monster mom to get it done.
It has been extremely hard being sick the past few days, but I can say I am very grateful for this lesson learned.

True Love

Happy Valentine's Day to the Love of my life!

This was posted by John <3>