Elizabeth

I have to admit something I have been denying, avoiding even, for days.  Elizabeth isn't a toddler any more.  My baby is growing up and it makes my heart ache.  I miss her babyness and her chubby little legs.  I miss her uncoordinated attempts to run and dance.  In her place I am left with this beautiful, graceful child.  As I watch her run, dance and twirl, climb, talk, and curtsy I see brief glimpses of the young woman she will become.  It fills me with hope and puts a band aide on my aching heart.  Elizabeth is...amazing.  There is really no other word for her.  She will put on a Cinderella dress and clean up a mess.  She will run for diapers and wipes when I find I am out.  She will help Abigail wash her hands, wipe her nose, or clean up when she spills water.  She is my princess, mini me, little mother, ballerina, rough and tumble, play in the dirt in a tutu, climb every tree she can girl.  I can't believe how she has grown and I am so proud of her beauty, grace, love, patience and service.  I feel so blessed to be her mother and I look forward, with great anticipation, to the years ahead.  I hope she will always be my best friend and giver of the best morning hugs.

Elizabeth

 John reminded me that I have neglected my blog and haven't posted about Elizabeth's birth.  Here she is, isn't she just darling?  Elizabeth was born on the 16 of December, Jane Austin's birthday, I think it only fitting my girl should be born on my favorite author's birthday.  :)  I just can't get enough of her!  She is so sweet, so calm, and just perfect.  I love how she opens her mouth like she is going to really scream and then lets out a little squeak instead.  I love how she cuddles up to me when I lay down with her and how she sighs so sweetly when I pick her up.  Elizabeth is such a joy!
I'm really enjoying the fact that I am no longer pregnant.  Man!  That was one tough pregnancy.  I had people tell me not to be in a hurry, babies are easier inside, but they didn't know how miserable I was.  I'm tired now, waking up every two hours has that effect, but I have more energy, I don't hurt all the time, and I can eat food without being sick for days.  I can wrestle with my boys, climb, run, pick stuff up, clean...I fell amazing.  Everyone keeps telling me to take it easy and rest, but I just spent the last nine months resting, I'm ready to play, work and head back to the gym.
Life is wonderful, my husband has a week off school, I have my darling little girl, and I feel great!  Have a happy new year friends!

Hanging up the cape for now

So I had a moment of panic a few days ago.  More then a moment really.  For days I had been so exhausted all the time, I was really sick to my stomach most of the day, dizzy, head aches, and very weak.  I had been having cramps for a few days and I felt like something was wrong.  I was worried about the baby so I called my midwife Monday.  She put me on bed rest for a few days and told me to call her back Wednesday.  After resting for a few days I felt much better, but I noticed that when I did too much, like a load of dishes, I started having headaches, stomachaches, and cramping again.  So I have to resat often, try to get a nap in every day, and stop trying to be super mom.  After talking to my midwife today she isn't worried anymore, but told me to take it as easy as I can and find help where I can.  That shouldn't be too hard with such a great support system.  It's frustrating not being bale to do everything, but at least it's not bed rest, that would drive me crazy, and at least the concerns are gone!

I'm going to enjoy this

I'm a pretty independent woman, I like being able to do stuff on my own.  I think it stems from this idea I got in high school that I wasn't as good as boys because i was a girl.  In college I worked in facilities maintenance.  It was a predominately male group I worked with and some times the boys would tell me to sit back and let them handle the work.  Some women might enjoy that, but I hated it.  To me it was another way for them to say I wasn't as good as them.  There were a couple who actually thought that, but I showed them by becoming their boss :)  The rest were just trying to be nice.  John is like that, he is nice.  I know it's silly, but it used to bug me when he would lift heavy things for me or help me when I didn't need it.  He did it all the time when I was pregnant with Glen and Benjamin and it bugged me!  I mean I was pregnant, not broken!  I decided a few months ago that next time I was pregnant I was going to sit back and relax when he told me to.  I would enjoy it instead of resent it.  Yup.  That's what I'm doing.  He is cleaning the house today and he told me to sit down and rest.  I am definitely enjoying this!  :D  There will be plenty of times when I have to work hard, when I am told to take it easy I am going to say "Thank you very much" and enjoy it!  Excuse me while I go grab a book and find a seat on the couch.

Pregnancy the 3rd

When I was pregnant with Glen and Benjamin I tired to stay out of pictures as much as I could.  I hated being photographed.  There are very few pictures of me, especially when pregnant.  I wanted this one to be different though.  I have waited so long and more importantly I am so much more confident then I ever was.  Being in Mary Kay has helped me gain so much confidence and self esteem that even though I am not as slim and flat as I want to be I can still love myself. I love who I have become and who I am daily becoming.  So with this new found confidence I am going to keep a record of myself while I am pregnant.  Not every day, that would get old, but the important things.
This is the week I found out I was pregnant.  I'm only 5 weeks so I am not showing, but I am so ecstatic I can hardly stand it.  So far I have had pretty bad morning sickness (all day by the way) and pretty bad headaches.  I just got a stuffed nose and sneezes today so the headache my be from the cold.  I have been insanely tired most days and having a few weird cravings, like pickles on top of eggs, and just today my favorite Jamba juice no longer appeals to my, but my husbands did so we traded.  :)  Oh, and the smell of ripe bananas makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.  So far it hasn't been easy, but I just keep telling myself "I'm going to have a bay!"  And then I remember why women put themselves through pregnancy.  Do some people actually enjoy this?  The feeling of excitement yes, but some days I'm hard pressed to remember how excited I am over how sick I am.  :)  But I can't let that slow me down.  I have a baby on the way and darn it!  I[m going to be a director by then so I am going to work mu butt off and get there by the end of the year...hopefully by the end of the summer.
Until next time...