Faith Not to be Healed

 When I first read Elder Bednar's talk "Accepting the Lord's Will and Timing" I thought about myself.  I've had faith to be healed, but did I have faith not to be healed.  Could I go thorugh my life with the physical and mental difficulties I have without being healed and still have faith?  Fast forward quite a few years to this week and a new prayer for healing.

I found out last week one of my best friend had Covid-19.  I dropped off groceries Saturday and stood at the end of her driveway to chat for a few minutes.  I wasn't worried.  Until the next day.  I found out she was in the hospital and then I worried.  As she got worse I worried more.  No, worried isn't the right word.  I was scared, REALLY scared.  We fasted for her and we prayed for her.  As the days wore on and she got worse and worse my prayers became ever more fervent.  But they were not prayes of faith, they were desprate "You have to heal her.  You can't take my best friend.  What will I do without her?  You have to heal her!"  It came to the point where I kind of felt like my faith was being tested and I had to ask myself where my faith was centered.  Was my faith centered in healing or in Christ? Did I really trust God, or did I only trust Him when life was going well?  Would I still trust Him if... 

I really examined myself.  I was so full of fear and anxiety over the future and I wasn't feeling any peace when I prayed.  That scared me.  So I asked myself, "Do you trust the Lord no matter the outcome?"  I realized that I did.  Since then I have felt more peace.  My prayers have been less frantic and more meaningful.  I'm happy to report that my friend is improving.  I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for the peace I feel when I put my trust in my Heavenly Father and my Savior.