Have you heard of the 5 languages of love? Touch, time, service, gifts, and words of affirmation. There is this book all about it and how people feel loved because of one or more of these things, but not always from others. It really opened my eyes to see what others need from me, and therefor has helped improve my relationships. I highly recommend it.
I think they missed one though. I think there is a 6th love language. Food.
I love to cook and bake. I love to feed people. I have discovered in the last few months that food is my language of love. Not the one I hear, the one I speak. When I offer food to someone I am saying "I love you, I care about you." When they say no thank you it's like saying "No thank you, I don't want your love." Ok, logically I know that is NOT what they are saying, but I still feel hurt. I'ma big girl, I can deal with it, but what about Benjamin? According to The 5 Languages of Love, you can't find the love language of a child. I know what Benjamin's in though.
When he was a baby, around 2, he would eat some food and then hug the closest person. We learned to deal with sticky fingers or sit somewhere else because he would hug after every bite, I kid you not. He is the kids that has got to have breakfast before he stops grumping in the morning, the one who totally breaks down when I say he has to miss snack because it's too late. It might be because of his healthy problems as a baby, he had so many allergies and threw up so much he was basically starving for the first year of his life. I don't know why he is the way he is. It doesn't really matter. What matters to me is that other people realize how important it is to him. The missionaries are often at our house. He loves them and so he offers them food. They used to say "No, thank you." until I told them why he gives food. I said "You have to take it from him, even if it's just one bite, pretend if you have to and then throw it away, but he is saying he loves you and he is heartbroken when you say no." Now they take the handfuls of pop corn and pretzels, they take his last piece of candy or a cup of juice. I remember when he turned four he was given a bag of candy for his birthday. He immediate opened it up and offered it to everyone there, his friends all said no, but he insisted. He is generous and he says I love you with food.
Ok, I think I may have gone off on a tangent there. Why am I writing this? Because all those cookies I made you, the meals I brought, and the cakes I randomly dropped off, were me saying "I love you." the best way I knew how. Thank you for taking them, thank you, my dear friends for saying "Yes, please," instead of "No, thank you," to my love. And even though I am too far away to say I love you like that, know that I do still love you, and here is proof...
A Gathering Place
3 days ago
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