Home is where your heart is

Home is where your heart is

Friday, July 18, 2014

Beautiful

This is me.  Hi world!
I'm about to talk about a sensitive subject, so fasten your seat belt.  There are so many articles, opinions, and rules about what we can and cannot say about beauty, especially to young girls, I thought I'd add my two cents.
I'm no great beauty as you can see, I'm quite plain, except for that gorgeous hair, sweet smile, my feet and finger nails, those are awesome.  My husband get mad at me whenever I say I'm plain or anything that could even be construed as putting myself down.  What he doesn't understand is that when I say I'm plain or chubby, or I look bad I'm not putting myself down, I'm making an observation.  I am over weight, it's a fact.  I don't mind though because my kids mean more to me then being skinny.  I got this body bearing my babies and I wouldn't go back to that slim thing I was before I got married...unless I could keep the kids too, that would be cool.  I also don't mind being plain, usually.  I like who I am, I am ok with the way I look.  I have yet to love the way I look, but I'm working on it.  Why do I say this?
In about 3 seconds you will be two cents richer because here it is.  I think beauty boils down to two things.  Comparisons and confidence.  Two C's, two cents, hahaha, that's fun...I like words, but back to what I was saying.  I am beautiful because I am me, not because I am me trying to be her.  I don't compare myself to others and I am comfortable in my own skin.  Think of your idea of a beautiful woman or handsome man and then ask yourself this, if they lack confidence do they feel beautiful?  Nope.  Beauty is on the inside, it is about the way we act, but it's also about the way we feel.
I have two girls so this while beauty thing has been on my mind a lot.  I want them to feel beautiful.  My genes probably won't help them with the worldly side of beauty, but I hope that my smarts can help them.  If I can teach them confidence, if I can teach them to love themselves, and be comfortable in their own skin, then they will be beautiful no matter what they look like.
Think of the most attractive person you know, not the hot movie star, a real person you are attracted to.  I use the word literally, not in the I want to date you way, but the are you drawn tot hem way.  You are attracted to this person, or drawn to them for a reason.  Usually that reason in confidence, it really does make a person more beautiful because they feel beautiful.
Our bodies are beautiful, amazing creation that God has given us.  He asks us to take care of them, but he doesn't compare us or judge our beauty.  There are no beauty pageants in Heaven.  We are divine and because we are His, because we are wonderful and amazing then we are beautiful.  There are as many shades of beauty as there are shades of color, each one different and unique, but still beautiful.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

6th love language

Have you heard of the 5 languages of love?  Touch, time, service, gifts, and words of affirmation.  There is this book all about it and how people feel loved because of one or more of these things, but not always from others.  It really opened my eyes to see what others need from me, and therefor has helped improve my relationships.  I highly recommend it.
I think they missed one though.  I think there is a 6th love language.  Food.
I love to cook and bake.  I love to feed people.  I have discovered in the last few months that food is my language of love.  Not the one I hear, the one I speak.  When I offer food to someone I am saying "I love you, I care about you."  When they say no thank you it's like saying "No thank you, I don't want your love."  Ok, logically I know that is NOT what they are saying, but I still feel hurt.  I'ma big girl, I can deal with it, but what about Benjamin?  According to The 5 Languages of Love, you can't find the love language of a child.  I know what Benjamin's in though.
 When he was a baby, around 2, he would eat some food and then hug the closest person.  We learned to deal with sticky fingers or sit somewhere else because he would hug after every bite, I kid you not.  He is the kids that has got to have breakfast before he stops grumping in the morning, the one who totally breaks down when I say he has to miss snack because it's too late.  It might be because of his healthy problems as a baby, he had so many allergies and threw up so much he was basically starving for the first year of his life. I don't know why he is the way he is.  It doesn't really matter.  What matters to me is that other people realize how important it is to him.  The missionaries are often at our house.  He loves them and so he offers them food.  They used to say "No, thank you." until I told them why he gives food.  I said "You have to take it from him, even if it's just one bite, pretend if you have to and then throw it away, but he is saying he loves you and he is heartbroken when you say no."  Now they take the handfuls of pop corn and pretzels, they take his last piece of candy or a cup of juice.  I remember when he turned four he was given a bag of candy for his birthday.  He immediate opened it up and offered it to everyone there, his friends all said no, but he insisted.  He is generous and he says I love you with food.
Ok, I think I may have gone off on a tangent there.  Why am I writing this?  Because all those cookies I made you, the meals I brought, and the cakes I randomly dropped off, were me saying "I love you." the best way I knew how.  Thank you for taking them, thank you, my dear friends for saying "Yes, please," instead of "No, thank you," to my love.  And even though I am too far away to say I love you like that, know that I do still love you, and here is proof...