Home is where your heart is

Home is where your heart is

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Better half or other half?

I used to love it when I heard husbands talking about their wives, saying things like "Where would I bee without her?"  "She is the boss, I just pretend." "She is my better half"  "I'm her assistant."  Let's put a little emphasis on used to.  Lately I have been thinking that those husbands are just putting themselves down. I can understand why they say things like that.  Husbands want their wives to feel loved and important.  As women we are so hard on ourselves that we need to be built up constantly by others.  It's just too easy to feel ugly, stupid, or like your a bad mother or wife.  I love that they try to help, but I think there is another way.
I do not want to be my husbands better half, or have him be my better half, he is my other half and I am his other half.  Together we are whole, we compliment each other.  I do not want to be better then him, ahead of him, or dragging him along.  I want to be his equal, walking beside him hand in hand.  I didn't marry him to feel good about myself, I married him because I love him and he completes me.
I feel loved and need when he notices how hard I worked to clean the kitchen, or says thank you for cooking a meal.  I feel important when he comes home early because he missed me or when he teaches our boys to respect me.  I feel special when he opens my door or gives me his seat.  When he carries something heavy for me, or tells me to go sit down so he can put the boys to bed.  I am perfectly capable of doing all these things on my own, but when he gives me a hand I know he does it because he loves me and wants me to feel loved.  He does it because then he feels needed and important.  If I did everything on my own just because I could he would not feel like my other half, he would feel like I didn't need him at all.  It goes both ways then, doesn't it?
Let us build each other up my by putting ourselves down, but by showing through our actions and words just how important the other one is.